I am now a 'mean' mother.
My late mum was a great mother. But still, she was a strict parent and the disciplinarian at home. Came exam time and she would be breathing down our necks to study and the cane was always part of her method of motivation to get us glued to our books. Sometimes even the feather duster got into the picture, if you know what I mean! I can still hear her bellows ringing in my years and how she seemed so mean to me and my sister especially during exam times when she would force us to memorise our text books or else!
I told myself that I would never put my own children through the same kind of fear and punishment. I would do it the 'painless' way. The modern way. To reason and to talk.Does it work? Is it effective?
I come home from work and the TV's already on. I am about to go to bed past eleven and she's chatting online with her friends. I ask if she's done her tuition homework gazillion times and ended up waiting for her at the door as she rushes through the last pages of her homework at the eleventh hour.Well, obviously the reasoning and talking are not giving me the desired results.
So we engage some hard and fast rules .... and implement them. In return, we get tantrums, long faces and pouts that would break your heart. Where did my sweet angel go to??It's not easy being a parent, is it?
5 thots:
Hang in there, Bkworm! It will get better, although it takes having to be mean and firm-er before we see results.
I am having a tough time too with my little big boy, who needs a lot of prodding for his schoolwork, but come playtime, he is anything but distracted! So we are trying to offer him play in exchange for work, doesn't work all the time, but incentives normally help better than nothing.
Hope you'll try and take it easy in the meanwhile (I'm telling myself, too, and not have to be the one to worry all the time. No, not easy to teach responsibility, and I'm seeing it gets trickier as they grow up).
I am so not looking forward to that time.. Bkworm..! already now.. we have to be "mean" to the brat.. :(
Ditto, asme problem. Withdrawal of their most wanted priviledge - computer and tv time - helps sometimes!
Bkworm, I hope things are better and Chinese New Year is almost here!
When you can, come by... I have an award for you! =)
My mom is strict and fierce like a lioness. During my and my sister's time, we were disciplined using canes and loud screams. These days my youngest sis is luckier cuz Mom doesn't scream that much anymore. But still strict.
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