Do you know how many times I have typed this line? (All 50 characters including the spaces and the question mark!) I guess it doesn’t matter since you are obviously reading it already. Yes, I am getting a little weird here, perhaps from having too much of loneliness.
Are you ever lonely? I think that is happening to me today. Big time. I switched on the PC to blog but not a word of inspiration came. I checked my Yahoo Messenger, MSN and Skype and they stared back at me in a silence, so loud, that I decided to quit the applications and move on. Who would be online in the middle of the afternoon, anyway. Even the pokes from Facebook are not forthcoming. So much for social networking. Little Bkworm’s not back from her school activities and Papa Bkworm’s entertaining his big boss from Hong Kong until late, so no chance of disturbing him either. The little key pad on my mobile has gone all shiny from continuous scrolling through the address book looking for a friend, any friend to call. I badly need someone to talk to. Anyone. I am not into afternoon soaps on the telly and the books that I have mostly half read are as dry as the weather has been lately.
I avoid the kitchen unless it’s compulsory. Like making dinner. The housework’s mostly done except for the little cobwebs that never seem to go away. I spied the Bible sitting in its usual corner. I flipped it open and wait for a word of exhortation, very much like how a lightning would strike the ground just before an oncoming storm. But nothing. Drier than the book of Ezekiel, they say. And before I could go from a prayer of confession to thanksgiving, my mind was already thinking about a friend’s poolside wedding reception next Saturday and I have nothing to wear! Forgive the diversion, Lord.
I must have measured the length and breath of my little apartment, moved from the sofa to the bed and then back to the sofa again but yet unable to find that something that is missing from my day. Purpose.
The pains were not helping either, so I just popped a painkiller and hope to get some sleep. Maybe I will find it tomorrow.By the way, have you ever been lonely?
5 thots:
Oop... I don't have that lonely feeling for quite a while. Too long a time that I don't remember when was the last time.
Seems too busy to feel so :(
I guess you have gotten over it by now!
Hugz...
Bkworm, you can call me anytime. I know why you don't though. Because you don't know if the timing is right. Because you don't know if you will be imposing. Well, I know, because I feel the same way when I scroll through my contact list looking for someone to talk to. I am lonely sometimes, esp the past few days when my hubs was in Ho Chi Minh. You know, like I do, that the feeling of loneliness almost always pass, and it will be ok again. :)
I hope you are feeling ok now, or else, you can sms me, and I will call you if I am not in the midst of doing something. See? I don't even dare to call you just because I am afraid of calling at the wrong time.
That orang utan, I have used the same image before in my old blog. My post title was: Gelisah!
Hehehe...
Hmm.. finding purpose.. I can totally relate to that.
Sorry, haven't had a chance at my PC and just saw your posts on the reader! Bkworm, I'm here, I'm here! Come poke me, or drop me a note anytime ... OK? Know what you mean there are times when the loneliness hits hard/harder. And doesn't matter if we are on different timezones, friends are here for each other, right? =)
Hope you're feeling better already, and it's a new day when you wake up! Papa Bkworm back already?
Hugs for you in the meanwhile!
I am online mah during the day :P
didn't see you though :P
{{BIG HUG}} I hope you are feeling better now. WE all have those days sometimes.
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