I am now a 'mean' mother.

My late mum was a great mother. But still, she was a strict parent and the disciplinarian at home. Came exam time and she would be breathing down our necks to study and the cane was always part of her method of motivation to get us glued to our books. Sometimes even the feather duster got into the picture, if you know what I mean! I can still hear her bellows ringing in my years and how she seemed so mean to me and my sister especially during exam times when she would force us to memorise our text books or else!

I told myself that I would never put my own children through the same kind of fear and punishment. I would do it the 'painless' way. The modern way. To reason and to talk.

Does it work? Is it effective?

I come home from work and the TV's already on. I am about to go to bed past eleven and she's chatting online with her friends. I ask if she's done her tuition homework gazillion times and ended up waiting for her at the door as she rushes through the last pages of her homework at the eleventh hour.

Well, obviously the reasoning and talking are not giving me the desired results.

So we engage some hard and fast rules .... and implement them. In return, we get tantrums, long faces and pouts that would break your heart. Where did my sweet angel go to??

How to be 'mean' and not come across as being 'mean' and get positive results at the same time? Pray tell. Sigh!

It's not easy being a parent, is it?

Touch Of Heaven

Someone asked me the other day if she should visit her friend whose young daughter has been stricken with cancer. She wanted to know if she would be imposing on the family’s privacy if she did. My thoughts immediately went back to those days before my late mother passed away.

When my late mother was very ill a few years ago, my dad, my elder sister and I took turns to care for her. She was bedridden and was in constant pain. Looking back at those days, I wondered how we went through that period of difficulty. I wished for friends to come and visit, to share my burden, only to listen, if nothing else. My mother had little friends of her own and whatever relatives she had, they were dad’s. I longed so much for a touch of heaven here on earth but those who usually prayed until the heavens came down, were no where to be seen.

Later, when she was hospitalised, two of my dad’s sisters came to visit but what really touched me was when my aunt-in-law asked if she could come and pray for my mother. We didn’t exactly get off on good footing because she was a very conservative woman and seeing her nephew marrying a single mother must have upset her considerably. However, she remained amicable whenever we met at family functions. Given our history, I was really surprised when she wanted to visit my mother. She knew that there was nothing more that man can do for my mother but she believed that God can work a miracle; a miracle of salvation. What she did spoke louder to me about the her love for God and her faith than empty words without deeds.

My mother was already heavily sedated by then but I held on to the hope that her spirit would heed the call and turn her heart towards the path that would eventually lead her to heaven’s doors.

What I am trying to say is, sometimes all we can do is to just to be present, to hold a hand, lend a ear or say a prayer. It makes a lot of difference to the family that is walking through the valley.

A touch of heaven that the world needs.

How To Say No

I have never been good at saying ‘No’.

It was one of those nights when I was dying for something sweet and I found myself at Secret Recipe to get myself a slice of White Chocolate Macadamia cake. I paid for my purchase and was about to head for home when I suddenly remembered that a new cupcake shop has just opened for business a few doors away.

Oh, well, no harm popping in to take a look, is there?

I walked into the brightly lit shop. There were no other customers around and one of the staff immediately introduced me to the different types of cupcakes arranged at the counter. I heard her rambling on about different types of vanilla and chocolate cream topping. In my mind, I was already thinking about the number of cupcakes that I was going to take home with me.

“So would you like half a dozen?” she said once she has finished with Citrus Garden.

I thought of Big Apple’s donuts and their six for RM9-50 offer.

“How much would that be?”

She smiled ever so sweetly and said, “RM25-00 for six, ma’am”

I looked at her, a little dumbfounded. I should have walked out at that moment. I mean, I was already holding a little box with a slice of my favourite cake from Secret Recipe but did I do that? No. Silly me.

I hesitated for a while and then asked her again, how much a piece would cost me.

“RM4-50 only, ma’am”

I still could have walked away but instead, I heard myself saying, “Then I’ll get two”.

Why two? One for Little Bkworm and one more for Papa Bkworm to ‘bribe’ him when he finds out that I had paid RM9-00 for two not-very-large cupcakes! And all because, I couldn’t say ‘No’!


What am to do?? *shakes head in despair*

Brain teaser

Papa Bkworm has this to share with readers today......

Guess which one is the she-dog? And basis for your answer?

*Bkworm is smiling to herself, reflecting on Papa Bkworm's own answer and logic*

Something for Chinese New Year?

Something for the ladies…..

I wanted to get some new undies for Little Bkworm and maybe some 'grandma' undies (because they are SO comfy) that will fit this extra large frame and still make me look sexy, if that is possible!

Jusco was having a sale so I went over to their lingerie section and saw some decent looking undies going rather cheap. Three pieces for RM10-00. Affordable and well, decent. Good for a teenage girl (no G-strings, thongs or feathers for the young lady, please!) and not too old fashioned for a middle aged woman like me. Then I saw a flash of red as another shopper lifted one undergarment to show her friend.

On closer inspection, this is what I saw……

Yikes! Panties for Chinese New Year.

Taking auspicious sayings a little too far for the upcoming Spring Festival. The Chinese words “Sang Yee Heng Loong” means "May one's business prosper". I wonder who would wear something like that??

Would you?

Busy as a bee

I’ve been busy at work.

So busy that my boss has asked me more than a few times if there is any possibility of extending my working hours. In short, to be a full time employee and not a part timer, though we had an agreement at the beginning that I shall keep these ‘shorter’ hours for the next few years until Little Bkworm is older!

I put in almost six hours of work each day with no lunch break. But work volume has increased tremendously in the last two weeks (judging from the company's goals this year, it will only get busier!) and trying to finish everything within those hours each day is really getting to me. There have been more than a few occasions when I had to bring work home , just so that I can be ‘free’ to handle new work the following day. Two days ago, my boss came up to me and asked me that question again. Her parting words were very encouraging….. "If you can’t work longer hours, we can’t assign you more work.". Yep, she was THAT encouraging!

I told her that at the moment, I can’t commit to a full day because Little Bkworm is still young and I don’t like the idea of leaving her alone at home after school hours. Her response ? “Get a maid”.

I found her response thoroughly amusing. With only three of us staying in our small apartment, where will I stash this maid? Now why would I need that additional, unnecessary expenditure? I am no corporate high flyer and the salary I earn is, well, something I used to earn about twenty years ago.

Who knows, my boss may decide to get a ‘full timer’ instead and then Bkworm will be back to being ‘unemployed’ again. You’ll know when that happens, if it happens.

One of those moments...

Before the wedding........

"Don't go changing...to try and please me....I love you just the way you are..."

A few years down the road........

A friend walks by and he quickly turns to his wife and whispers through gritted teeth, "Psst...your hair looks messy" *looks embarrassed*

Sigh. The reality of marriage.

Love Your Job?

I got this in the email over the weekend ..........

From Long To Short

I washed my hair last night,
And got myself a fright!
A clump of hair came falling off,
Tho' I didn't pull or tug with might.

Oh dear, am I going bald, I wondered,
What a scary, scary thought!
So I told myself, enough's enough,
Some remedy, I must sought!

This morning, I did the next best thing,
I had my long hair shorn,
After an hour at the hair salon,
A 'bob' hairdo was born!




I don't know if it will really help,
With less weight, less might fall,
I wouldn't want this coming year,
To have Bkworm become bald!

If anyone be so kind, out there,
Can offer a tip or two,
How to have a head of glorious hair,
I would really be grateful to you!

The Beginning Of A New Chapter

I really didn't think I will blog so soon after my 'Bye-Bye' post end of last year. Not with a hundred different things at that top of my mind (and if you know me by now, you will know that they are ALL related to work because I will be back to work tomorrow after a two week break! *sob, sob!!*) .

The holidays officially ended this morning for the Bkworms when we had to get up at the crack of dawn (and it shall be so from now on until the next school term break) because Little Bkworm had to attend an orientation session for new secondary school students at her school this morning. Parents had to be 'orientated' too when the Discipline Mistress launched into her lecture on the merit and demerit system which is currently being practiced in that school and woe befall any student who breaks any laws listed in the little 'green' book (that being the color of the school rules and regulation booklet!).

After the 'lecture', the students went to their respective classes to get acquainted with their new surroundings, leaving the parents milling around outside the classroom looking in at the son or daughter from the windows of the class. Not surprisingly, most of the students kept to themselves, not having made friends with each other yet since all are new to the school. The parents seemed to be making more noise outside, each looking more lost than their child in the class!

"Do we have to pay the school fees today?"

"When are they distributing the new school books?"

"Is the session over? When can my child go home?"

"Do we have to submit these forms (believe me, it was quite a stack!) by today?"

Like everyone else, I looked into the class and saw Little Bkworm talking to the girl she was sitting with. She was fortunate because that girl happened to be her classmate from her primary school, so she was spared the first day blues of sitting among strangers. But children being children, I am sure these 'strangers' will become friends by the end of the week.

For a moment as I watched her from behind the windows, I felt a wave of emotion coming over me. There she was, in her new turquoise colored pinafore and crisp white shirt, beginning a new chapter of her life. Her studies will get tougher, no doubt and she will face new challenges as she steps into adolescence together with other girls and boys of her age. Growing up together.


It's too much of me, isn't it, taking a picture of her like that? LOL!! I can't help it. I am so proud of her, yet so overwhelmed at the same time.

It just seemed like yesterday when I took her by her little hand and walked with her into her first class in Primary 1. She sat down, turned to an equally small sized seven year old seated next to her and they started chatting! A minute later, she turned to me an asked me to wait outside because she didn't need me in the class with her! That independent streak is still evident in her life and I hope that will stand her in good stead as she learns new skills in these next few years of life as a secondary school student.

As for me, staying on top of things will be my immediate goal so as not to let the perfectionist in me stress me bald before the end of the year. Now, that would be bald, sorry, I mean bad, wouldn't it?