Why I Have No Time

A friend has been lending me DVDs of the newer TVB Chinese series and I always tell her that I won’t be able to give them back to her quickly. She’s ok with that but simply cannot accept my reasons when I tell her that “I have no time!”

Fifteen years ago, I didn’t even know how to use a mouse. Ten years ago, I was intrigued with this thing called the Internet. I opened my first email account and learned how to chat on ICQ.

A month ago, I taught this same friend how to use Skype and just today, Facebook! Talk about evolving with the times. But I was only too glad to help. One more friend to chat on Skype and connect via Facebook, eh? *wink*

Yet what I can impart to her is so little compared to the knowledge of the young ones. Little Bkworm’s Friendster page is so colorful and full of blinking pictures with music to boot. She learnt it from her friends and I, in turn, am learning from her! Who says, the young cannot teach the old?

There is still so much to learn. And so much to do on the Internet. Don't know something? Check the Net. What's that thing again? Let's Google it! On top of that, I hardly have time to blog, go through my blogroll or check my Facebook. In short, barely scratching the surface of cyberspace. At this age?? Yep, I am no spunky youngster with the hots for computer games and neither am I some computer whiz that reads computer language like how one would read Shakespeare, but I AM addicted. That quite explains why “I have no time”.

Oh, did I ever mention that sometimes Papa Bkworm and I skype each other in the same room (ok, we were mainly sharing files which is faster than sending it by email) and buzz Little Bkworm who’s chatting online in the next room, to tell her that it’s time to shut down the PC and go to bed!

In case you think we can getting a little dysfunctional here, human related activities are still very much alive in this household…..when we are not busy at the PC. LOL!!

Have a great weekend, ya’ll!

Vision Vs. Vanity

I love to read. But I don't read as much nowadays for the simple reason that I can't see the words clearly anymore. They have large print Bibles and Reader's Digest but I have yet to find books that have print big enough for me to read without my glasses on. I am not talking about myopia - short sighted but hyperopia - long sightedness.

Two years ago, I finally conceded defeat and went to make a pair of multi-focals. It was akin to admitting that I am now OLD! Only old people need reading glasses, no? My parents' bifocals came to mind. Lenses with a line in the middle; the top part for far vision and the bottom, for near. Multi-focals nowadays are just like your normal pair of glasses anyway.

But still, I got over my vanity and was thrilled that I didn't have to strain to read the text messages on my mobile or the fine print in the newspapers. Never mind that I couldn't wear the normal type of contact lens anymore because I would need to use a separate pair of reading glasses for, well, reading. But lately, the problem has resurfaced. According to my optician, while my short sightedness has stabilized, my long sightedness will worsen as I age! Reading is becoming such a bane and my eyes are usually so tired at the end of the day that getting out of bed the next day was sheer torture!



Last week, I had a brainwave. Actually, I had discovered by accident that I could wear my contact lens and still read reasonably well at the same time. I had put on one side of the lens and as I was searching for the other side in the disposable pack, I saw that I could read the tiny print on the top of the box! I remembered my boss telling me that she had gone for Lasik surgery to correct the vision on one eye as her ophthalmologist had advised that both her eyes would adjust eventually and she wouldn't need reading glasses after the surgery; depending on one good eye and the other still uncorrected to focus both near and far. So I cheated a little and went out with only one contact lens. It worked. And no, I didn't miss a step and fell into the drain.

I popped by my optician just to make sure that walking around with only one lens won't worsen my eyesight. Apparently, I am not the only one and it's all right to do so as long as I don't mind a less than perfect vision with only one lens. Although they do have multi-focal contact lens, I heard that they are relatively new technology and therefore, still very expensive.

The downside is, while looking better with my contact lens, I would still need to wear my reading glasses when using the computer. The distance is too far for sharp focus. So what's the point, huh? At the end of the day, my eyes still feel tired, I guess, from the strain of both eyes trying to focus with only one contact lens.

I may be vain but not entirely stupid, so I guess it's back to my multi-focals until I can afford to get those expensive contact lens I talked about earlier.

Anyone of you out there have the same problem as I do?

Mother And Friend?

I once read in one of those parental guidance books where the author said that a mother IS a parent and therefore, can never be a friend. The author also went on to say that a mother who wants to be a friend cannot exert her authority as a parent fully and no child, especially teens would see their parent as a friend because friends and parents are, well, different.

I never thought of my own mother as a friend. She was my mother. Period. She took care of my needs, cooked for me, sewed my clothes, fed me medicine when I was sick and even helped me with my homework. I remembered how she would painstakingly helped me do my maps for geography and we would both be coloring those maps into the deep of the night! But we never discussed personal stuff and definitely nothing about boys. That was a taboo subject and very unbecoming of a young lady to be talking about the opposite sex. Any lessons on staying pure before marriage and warnings on premarital sex were given through veiled references to the Chinese movies we would watch together sometimes.

Years late, now with a teenage daughter of my own, I discover that it is not an easy thing to stay 'communicated' with the young lady. It's like walking on a tight rope. A balancing act - not to hold on too much, lest she should suffocate and yet having to stay firm so that she remains on the straight road. With so much more exposure to the world via different kinds of media, not to mention peer influence, Little Bkworm is a lot more street smart than I ever was when I was at her age.

My mother would never have allowed me to gush over Jason Castro (of American Idol fame) or even the cute school captain, as in the case with Little Bkworm now, whose vocabulary has been restricted to only three words - "He is SO hot!", something I hear almost every day. But I don't berate her immediately because if she cannot talk to me about something that is important enough for her to want to share, she certainly will not want to share anything else in her life later on. And as she faces more challenges in life, I would want to be there for her; not only to guide her but also to be family that she can turn to, in times of need.

While I want to keep a friendly ear and open mind before her, I also remind her that all this is part of growing up. Her feelings of love which seem so real now IS real to her but in actual fact would eventually fade because they are rooted in fantasy. How can you fall in love with someone without actually knowing them?

Having said all that, Little Bkworm is not all sugar and spice. There are times when I feel I am hitting a wall with her. Young people are strange. I should know. I was young once. She comes crying about a tiff with her friends but on the other hand still want to hang on to the 'friendship' because they are all she has. I want to tell her that all is not lost; that real friends don't treat each other like that but when you are thirteen and you want to fit in, reality advice like this don't really mean anything. So I just tell her like it is, hug her and let her know that no matter what, her family is still solidly behind her. I can almost hear her tell herself, "Mum doesn't really understand my problem", though I wish I can make her believe that I have gone through it and I really know how she feels.

While she is learning to grapple with adolescence, so I, too am learning to become a mother of a teenage daughter. And it's going to be a challenging task.

Taking A Break Too Far

Too much walking from all that shopping? Need a place to rest your tired feet? What better way to enjoy a cup of coffee and relax than to find a comfortable sofa at Starbucks and put your feet up to 'recuperate'!


I was appalled at the lack of civic mindedness when I spotted this customer taking a break while sipping her iced drink and chatting on her mobile phone with her legs stretched out in front of her onto the other sofa chair placed directly across her. The middle aged woman was well dressed in a white colored pantsuit and judging from the shopping bags placed on the other sofa, money's not an issue either. She was oblivious to the din around her and it was quite a sight watching her twiddling her stockinged toes in public.

It was all the more shocking because the Starbucks outlet was very crowded at that time of day and I even overheard a customer asking another if she may share a table because there were no other available seats.

When I left an hour later, she was still enjoying the great Starbucks hospitality with her feet still off the ground.

From One Airport To Another

My 83 year old father boarded a flight to Singapore yesterday evening. It was his first flight alone and a first, using budget airline, Tiger Airways. Though I was worried about him being alone on the fifty five minute flight, I was more than happy to see him take a short vacation with Lara, away from some rather unpleasant events that have taken place recently; that I shall get into, in another entry.

Tiger Airways operates from the LCCT - our Low Cost Carrier Terminal which is located approximately 20km from the KL International Airport Main Terminal. Since AirAsia's inception in 2001, I have never taken a flight on AirAsia. And when its operations were moved to the LCCT, I have never set foot in this budget terminal until today. I shouldn't be surprised at the hustle and bustle at the airport;the noise and crowds remind me of the market! Its' CEO, Tony Fernandes surely had his vision realised when he said "Now Everyone Can Fly". But Dad didn't fly AirAsia yesterday. Lara booked him on Tiger Airways from Singapore as it worked out to be about RM100 cheaper.

A few shots of the LCCT from the outside. Couldn't take any inside. Much too crowded.

My colleague took a flight from LCCT when she went on holiday last year and she told me that the terminal looks like a warehouse. I thought she was joking but it wasn't too far from the truth. Everything looked haphazard and the place was so crowded, there was no place to sit! People were almost running into each other with baggage trolleys and all the eateries there were spilling over with people. But then again, what more can we expect when the fare's so cheap, huh? At least, they still have McDonald's and Coffee Bean there, neither of which I can do without. *wink*

Can you spot Coffee Bean??

On the upside, I was quite impressed with Tiger Airways when I requested for assistance for my Dad; that the crew will look out for him and make sure he doesn't end up waiting at the wrong gate or boarding the wrong flight since I won't be able to stay with him until he is safely in the plane. The stewardess at the check in counter accompanied my dad through the immigration check and walked with him to the boarding gate. I supposed everything went well because he arrived safely at Changi Airport an hour later.

My handsome Dad happy to be spending the next few days with his other daughter!

After we left the LCCT, we drove towards Subang Airport Terminal 3, which is about 50 km away. Hence the title "From one airport to another"!


It was a little early for dinner but it was an opportunity to have my favorite crabs at Lala Chong which is situated just opposite Terminal 3. I have blogged about Lala Chong before here and here. It was pure bliss soaking the steamed buns into the crab gravy and slurping every bit of it, wishing that the magical eating fest would never end. In case, you too, are a Lala Chong fan, the proprietor mentioned that they may be moving to their other branch which is currently already operating at No. 31, Jalan PJU 1A/5A, Ara Damansara, PJ.




I thought that was a fitting end to a long day out....mostly driving on the long, long road to the LCCT and back. But those crabs were worth it.

Chasing The Alphabets

They used to have Scrabble. Now they have Scramble.

And that's exactly what Papa Bkworm has been scrambling for almost every night before he goes to bed. His version of a night cap!

Scramble requires its' players to make as many words from the alphabets given on the game board. The trick is these words must be in order and they must be connected. The competitive streak in Papa Bkworm has got him chasing game after game every night, trying to beat his last best score. There's an ambitious Capricorn for you.

He could have his office work all laid out on the desk but his fingers would be tapping away on the keyboard; not doing his project paper or spreadsheets but trying to beat the clock, trying to find those elusive words from the alphabets on the screen.

So until the addiction dies, he only has eyes for those sixteen alphabets on the game board, I'm afraid.

Do you think a nice new negligee will do the trick?

Returned To Sender

This entry is about lost chances; ones that can never be found again, leaving one too late for regrets.

I knew Nori since my early working years more than twenty years ago. We didn't talk much with each other at first. She had a very fierce countenance especially if she wasn't smiling but once you get to her funny side, her laughter literally boomed across the office. She was garrulous, at the same time, open hearted with those who know her.

Sometimes similar circumstances bring people together. We found solace in each other as we went through difficult times in our respective marriages. We both came out of it, seemingly unscathed at first but in the end, still could not salvage what went wrong in the first place.

After I left the company, I continued to stay in touch with her. Come each September, I would send her a birthday card. She was still with the same company but as she worked shifts in the Call Center and since I didn't have her home contact number or address, the annual birthday card was all we had. I didn't know how much the cards meant to her until a mutual friend told me that Nori had quoted this as an example during a company training session on how much she had appreciated my efforts to stay in touch with her through the years.

Last September, as in past years, I mailed out a birthday card to her. Two weeks later, the card was returned with the reason that she was no longer with the company. I put it aside, meaning to get in touch with another mutual friend to find out where Nori had moved away to. The weeks passed. The school holidays came and then there was all that Christmas festivities. School reopened in January and more hustle and bustle, trying to settle Little Bkworm into secondary school. The returned card got pushed further and further into my pile of things to do.

In February this year, as I was browsing along the aisles of a supermarket in Singapore, I received an SMS. It carried sad news. Nori had passed away suddenly. Nori who wasn't much older than me had died of a stroke.

I still remember the wave of cold that swept over me as I read that sms. A million 'should haves' ran through my mind. I wasn't much a friend, was I? All those years of card sending amounted to nothing because I didn't actively pursue that friendship when a 'Returned To Sender' was stamped over a card, foolishly believing that all those earlier cards I sent were sufficient to 'keep in touch'. I should have tried to contact her earlier. I should have made that effort. I should have but I didn't and now all that are left are regrets.

And that is a difficult thing to live with.

Of Mommies Blogs and Blogging

I've had this blog for about more than 3 1/2 years now. It started with a need to write down my thoughts, especially after my mother's death. Also, that period coincided with my stay-at-home phase where I actually thought the writer in me was going to burst forth and I was going to make my millions selling my first book. Of course, I know better now. Sigh!

Then there came a phase where I pushed myself to update my blog everyday. A new entry must somehow be birthed to let my readers know what was going on in my life. New day, new entry. I still remember the intensity and the intense pressure I put on myself when I couldn't come up with anything by the end of the day.

The pressure has not exactly eased that much since then. It just comes in waves. LOL!! The recent one got me off the blog radar for more than three weeks. Then the Man With The Hammer came yesterday and it broke the silence.

This morning as I was going through my blog feeds, I felt so overwhelmed by BP's entry. She writes so beautifully and with such ease. The words just flow one after another. I really believe it is her love for her family that oils every sentence, gushing out of her words to reach and bless her readers. Her pictures paint a thousand words and more. Each frame tells its' own story and the ones about her two young sons endear her family even more to her readers. She may be thousands of miles away from where I live but her blog brings her closer than a neighbour, dearer than a friend. Having singled her out, I don't think any less of all the other mommy blogs that I read - Stay-At-Home Mum, MamaBok, Peep-a-Peek, Gargies just to name a few. All special in their own ways. All with their own unique stories to tell.



Their children are still so young. I feel old just reading about them *wink* ....... stories of milk bottles and diapers. Kids in kindy. Trips to dentists and doctors. Every day is a new experience. I reminisce and smile at the pride of each mommy as they regale excitedly over every milestone in their youngsters' journey in life. Because, I too have been there. My little boy is now a man. My Little Bkworm has just officially became a teenager. She turned 13 this past Monday. Due to their nine year age gap and also the many things that have happened when Phoenix was in his teens, I believe my experience as a mother of a teenage daughter will be a new one all over again.

And that's going to be a lot of blog material to work on, don't you think?

The Man With The Hammer

I usually don't blog about office stuff but this.....I got to share.

Aside from my two bosses, there is only one other staff working together with me. This morning both my bosses were away for a convention in town, leaving me to man the fort until my colleague arrives later in the morning. But she called in later to say that she was still stuck in the doctor's office and would be late.

So there I was, enjoying the solitude and the liberty to do my work without being disturbed when a man came to the office door. He knocked on the glass panel and I went to see what he wanted. You see, we just moved to a new office, so contractors and suppliers are still coming around to put in the finishing touches. This guy is middle aged and he waved a delivery order at me from the other side of the glass door. He was supposed to come and fix some chairs in the meeting room. I know I always teach my kids never to open the door to strangers but I opened the door to let him in.

I showed him to the meeting room and he proceeded to repair those new chairs. After a while, he turned and asked for my boss. I told him that she was not in. His next question - "You are ALL alone then?"

I, immediately went on red alert.

The office space is not very big - just the size of one shop office. He could very well see that I was alone at that moment. I told him that my colleague has just stepped out for a while and will be back soon.

He walked towards me, his hammer swinging beside him. I tell you, he could have hammered me with it and no one would find my body until much later!

(Yeah, that was how it looked like!)


"Okay, the job's done. Sign on the D/O and give me back the last two copies".

I went back to my desk, signed the D/O and had it stamped before handing it back to him. From the corner of my eye, I could see that that his eyes were darting around. I quickly gave him back his copies and ushered him out the door!

Then only could I breathe a sigh of relief!