Imagination Is The Key To Freedom

Wang Tai Tai invites.....

2009-05-25T22:08:00.000+08:00

Come Journey With Me ......................

It is time.......

2008-07-04T13:19:00.006+08:00

Blogging no longer means the same to me as it did when I first started out four years ago. It has become somewhat lost and without direction. Bkworm needs to take a long break; perhaps one she will not return from.

Take care, you guys. It has been a good run.

A Vision of Happiness

2008-06-30T21:59:00.003+08:00

Have you ever seen a vision of happiness?

Jomel was the perfect picture of that vision last Saturday evening.

We, the Bkworms were honored to be able to share in the joy of her wedding to Mr. D as they celebrated their union together with friends and loved ones at a poolside reception that evening.

As both the bride and groom came down the red carpeted walkway that was strewn with rose petals, I felt overwhelmed as I recalled the many ups and downs that Jomel had been through in these last few years. And there she was, beaming in happiness as she walked beside the man who has made things all right again for her. Dressed in soft flowing pink, she smiled shyly at those who began to gather around her, reaching out to touch and hug her; all wanting to let her know that we all share her joy of finding love again.

The decor was simple yet elegant and the choice of food excellent, with lovely carvings of both the bride and groom’s names engraved on the fruit display. It was a buffet set up and that allowed guests to move about freely, giving the whole gathering a more relaxed atmosphere. Instead of the usual three tiered wedding cake, they thrilled us with a unique presentation of beautifully decorated cupcakes in the shape of a tiered wedding cake. I was delighted that the little flower sitting atop each cupcake was as purple in color as my Barney hued dress!

(oops....who's that in purple??)

But what struck me most that night were two things. Firstly, it was the heartfelt speech that Jomel’s new sister-in-law gave as a toast to the new couple. It was touching to hear how her family welcome Jomel into the family with open hearts and open arms and the tribute that they paid to Jomel as a woman of strength and integrity. Jomel has surely emerged a stronger person through the many tests and trials that she has been through from a very young age. A lesser woman would have buckled in defeat.

Maybe those are the qualities that have won Mr. D’s heart. I didn’t have much opportunity to talk to Mr. D who is ‘ying chun, siew sa’ – charming, to say the least. When he dedicated a poem to his wife, (this being the second thing), he was so choked with emotion that, I am sure all of us present that night, felt his immense love for the object of his affection. Later, he got everyone’s attention when he serenaded his bride with Ronan Keating’s ‘In This Life’ and he sang it acapella! I bet he brought more than a tear to Jomel’s eyes. A perfect dedication for a woman who has always longed for romantic fairy tale endings.

If there was only one thing that I took away with me that night, it must be the picture of bliss that was on Jomel’s face. It lit up her entire visage and it is a testimony that God never forgets those that He loves for He has encircled Jomel and her two little girls with the love of a husband and a father in Mr. D.

God bless you, Jomel & Mr. D. May you live long and happy together!

Barney at the wedding?

2008-06-26T13:20:00.007+08:00

After such pleasant memories of my own wedding, I am brought down to earth by the little purple thingy that is now hanging in my cupboard. (Yes, Jomel, if you are reading this, it's purple in color.) The formerly svelte figure in ivory five years ago is going to try and look (a lot) less fat in this purple dress which will be gracing a dear friend's wedding reception this Saturday.
I have scoured the lengths and breaths of several malls these last two week, dropped in unashamedly to boutiques for larger women but couldn't find the perfect dress. Not that the dress is not perfect but the figure isn't! The covered ones make me look frumpy and 'ah-soh' (read, old) and the revealing ones will be showing so much extra and unwanted flesh that I am sure Papa Bkworm will refuse to be seen in public with me.

When I finally walked into Zara with legs that were so numbed from dress hunting, I was ready to just take anything that will ...... fit. Little Bkworm came into the fitting room with me and with a choice of two different designs, she sighed away her approval for one of them, if only to stop me from going into another boutique after that. Do you think they put magic mirrors in fitting rooms because when I came home and tried on my purchase, I looked much bigger! Uh-oh!!

Tonight, I am going to ransack my cupboard for that shawl that may just be my saving grace when I show up at the reception on Saturday night, looking like an oversized Barney!

Or worse, Miss Piggy in purple.

Some Wonderful Memories

2008-06-25T10:43:00.006+08:00

Jomel is feeling the jitters about her upcoming wedding. And reading about it in her blog, reminded me of my big day not so long ago. I was short of a month from my fortieth birthday when Papa Bkworm and I tied the knot on a sunny Saturday morning.

We had only four months to prepare. From the proposal to the altar. It wasn't the altar, really. BUT we had a great time anyway, feeling both excited and nervous at the same time, standing before the Registrar at the Jabatan Pendaftaran in our full wedding regalia. Not many brides would turn up at the Registration Department wearing a wedding gown complete with flowers and all for a civil ceremony! Talk about being the centre of attention. There were two other couples who went in before us and each couple only went into the room with their two witnesses. We went in with our entourage of ten! And picture this..... two of them who were supposed to videotape and take photos of the signing ceremony were moving about so much trying to get the best shot that the Registrar had to request that pictures should only be taken from behind her because she doesn't want to be photographed! Thank God that she didn't chase all of us out!

The preparation was a far cry from the one that took place twenty years before that. My parents organized everything, right up to the kind of nightie that I would be wearing on my wedding night. It looked more like a pink cotton housecoat with buttons right up to the neck! All I had to do was to wake up on the morning of the wedding, put on my wedding gown and do what the tai kam che' tells me to do for the rest of the day.

Twenty years later, I took charge of the planning. And Papa Bkworm took charge of the finances. We came up with a role sheet, delegated different tasks to our close friends who had volunteered to help out, booked the restaurant, designed the invitations, arranged for the wedding photography and planned the honeymoon together. Amidst the flurry of activity, there was a constant nagging thought at the back of our minds. Would Papa Bkworm's parents relent and come to the wedding?

My in-laws and I get on fine now but it wasn't always like that. Being a parent, I understand their initial objections and disdain for a relationship which they saw as unbalanced and wrong. Their eldest son was going to take an older, single parent as his wife. A woman with a teenage son and a young daughter. Nothing short of a miracle could have turned their animosity to the acceptance and love that his parents and I share today.

They didn't come for the wedding. But Papa Bkworm's siblings were present and I think that almost completed our joy. Jomel's entry 'Striving For Perfection', again made me think of how disappointed I was when Lara couldn't attend the wedding because SARS struck this part of Asia during that period in 2003. Singapore was also quite seriously affected by the epidemic and Lara kept having a fever that wouldn't go away just before the wedding. There was no way she would have made it past the stringent health check at the Immigration checkpoint. Despite this hiccup, we were totally but pleasantly taken aback when one of Papa Bkworm's closest friend flew back from Hong Kong to attend our lunch reception. He was unable to confirm his attendance earlier because Hong Kong was also badly hit by SARS but he turned up in the end, hale and hearty. We were grateful for his presence just as we were overjoyed at the support of friends and family who celebrated together with us that day.

It wasn't perfect. We still cringe thinking about some of the boo-boos that happened despite our best efforts to keep things according to plan. Perhaps there were things we could have done better. I should have done a music video - imagine for a moment, Bkworm doing a version of Shania Twain's Gonna Getcha and dedicating it to Papa Bkworm at the lunch reception! (Haha, maybe I will do a grandma version at our anniversary years from now!) We would have loved a church wedding, complete with a dreamy walk down the aisle as Papa Bkworm awaits at the altar in a white tux but that was not to be. Instead, we had a pastor friend pray a blessing over us at our reception.

The wonderful and warm memories from the time of preparation until we sent off our last guest with hugs and kisses - these shall stay with us for the rest of our lives. And to us, perfection has been achieved.

When He Plays, She Prays

2008-06-19T18:11:00.005+08:00

Parenthood comes with a price. Not only does one get a replica of oneself but also a life long responsibility of being emotionally attached to one’s offspring. It’s not something you buy off the shelf and then have it shelved if doesn't work according to your specifications. But the hurts can go deep.

I love my children. I still have albums of photographs taken when they were babies and just about every milestone in their young lives. And I often wonder how I had managed to bring them up. It had seemed effortless at first but then, for that, I have my parents to thank. They were there for the children when I was working. They were there for them when I was going through my own emotional roller coaster. It was only when I became a stay at home mum, that I took back the reins. By then, like a young sapling that has become a big tree, changes become twice as hard, if not, almost impossible.

Why am I being so melancholic today? I am just reflecting on the heartache of not being able to get through to their little heads. Am I being too much of a queen control? Is it wrong to want your children to do well in life; to do better than me in life? Have I forgotten my own uncertainties when I was at their age and yet I seemed to have turned out quite all right in the end; albeit a little late in life and not discounting the fact that there were a lot of life’s lessons to learn along the way.

The words, “When I was at your age…..” are perpetually at the tip of my tongue but I have to remind myself time and again that when I was at their age, there were no handphones and no iPods. When I was at their age, there were no video games and life was simpler in more ways than one. We never dare to talk back to our elders. We didn’t question their instructions; obeying was the ONLY option. Well, at least, it was like that in my own life. I try to understand my children. I want to understand them – what makes them tick, what makes them do the things they do. It’s a terrible thing when you see them walking towards a pothole in life and you yell out to them to look out and all you get is, “Leave me alone!”. If only they know that I feel every tear that roll down their cheeks when things go wrong and I feel every frustration that they go through when things don't turn out the way they want.

I know they are individuals in their own right. They are not me. They have their own path, a journey already written by God when He created them. But like me, they must make their own choices which will influence the direction they shall be taking along that path. I know. I know. But it’s much harder to live that knowledge and let go.

A friend told me a story about a woman and her son who seemed wayward and unteachable. The woman had only one response.

When he plays, she prays.

Will you pray along with me?

Lonely, I am SO lonely....

2008-06-18T21:46:00.003+08:00

Do you know how many times I have typed this line? (All 50 characters including the spaces and the question mark!) I guess it doesn’t matter since you are obviously reading it already. Yes, I am getting a little weird here, perhaps from having too much of loneliness.

Are you ever lonely? I think that is happening to me today. Big time. I switched on the PC to blog but not a word of inspiration came. I checked my Yahoo Messenger, MSN and Skype and they stared back at me in a silence, so loud, that I decided to quit the applications and move on. Who would be online in the middle of the afternoon, anyway. Even the pokes from Facebook are not forthcoming. So much for social networking. Little Bkworm’s not back from her school activities and Papa Bkworm’s entertaining his big boss from Hong Kong until late, so no chance of disturbing him either. The little key pad on my mobile has gone all shiny from continuous scrolling through the address book looking for a friend, any friend to call. I badly need someone to talk to. Anyone. I am not into afternoon soaps on the telly and the books that I have mostly half read are as dry as the weather has been lately.

I avoid the kitchen unless it’s compulsory. Like making dinner. The housework’s mostly done except for the little cobwebs that never seem to go away. I spied the Bible sitting in its usual corner. I flipped it open and wait for a word of exhortation, very much like how a lightning would strike the ground just before an oncoming storm. But nothing. Drier than the book of Ezekiel, they say. And before I could go from a prayer of confession to thanksgiving, my mind was already thinking about a friend’s poolside wedding reception next Saturday and I have nothing to wear! Forgive the diversion, Lord.

I must have measured the length and breath of my little apartment, moved from the sofa to the bed and then back to the sofa again but yet unable to find that something that is missing from my day. Purpose.

The pains were not helping either, so I just popped a painkiller and hope to get some sleep. Maybe I will find it tomorrow.

By the way, have you ever been lonely?

Sweet Reflection

2008-06-17T07:46:00.007+08:00

Papa Bkworm just left for work and I have another hour before I make my way to the office. I was watching him tie his shoe laces and suddenly a flash of the past came to my mind.

We met almost fifteen years ago. We started out as friends. And fast friends we became. I found him funny yet profoundly intelligent. Gentle and caring in his ways. Mind you, he has his idiosyncracies. But don't we all, to some degree or another? He was so young then. I was much older but never really felt the age difference though most people would naturally assume him to be younger due to his (very) youthful disposition. Baby face, they call it.

When we eventually ended up together, some poked fun and said I was cradle snatching. Little did they know how much his strength has carried me through dark days. And the bond is uncanny. We could actually finish each other's sentences. We agree on most things though we are entire opposites when it comes to money. In a toast at our wedding, someone said that Papa Bkworm will be making the money and I will be spending it! He IS prudence personified and I..... I am just more generous with money. LOL!!

As he was tying his shoe laces this morning, I thought of the times when we had enjoyed countless lunches at the lane opposite our office and the many evenings when he would send me for Bible Study classes in church even though he did not know Christ then. And how we would hide behind the giant pillars outside our office because inevitably some 'sibuk' colleagues from other departments would come out for lunch at the same time and snigger at the odd couple...us. Though we were like two peas in a pod, seemingly inseparable, never, never did I imagine that years later, he would become my husband. We were supposed to be just best friends and kindred spirits separated by time and circumstances.

Sometimes in the midst of being married, we forget the special moments that bring us together. Simple gestures, ordinary events. But they paved the way to where we are today.

He got up from the little stool which we placed at the door. A kiss and a hug and he was off to work. And this reflection will carry me through another day.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

2008-06-15T14:47:00.000+08:00

I don't remember much of my relationship with my dad in my younger days. My mind sees a larger than life picture of my mother and my sisters in the family but dad's always somewhere in the background. He was the man of the house, someone we revered and to a degree, feared but we knew who ruled the roost.

Yet, it was Dad that brought home the bread, diligently month after month until he retired at 60. He fixed whatever that needed fixing around the house. He was the driver that took us anywhere we needed to go. Silent support through the years. Strangely, it was after Mum died, that he became, well, sort of real. We actually hold real conversations whenever I go back home to visit. We talk about my uncles and aunts. About politics. About the price hike in petrol. Just about anything under the sun. Just yesterday, he even expressed concern that my niece, his granddaughter has yet to conceive after six years of marriage and that he wanted to give them some 'advice' on the matter!

After forty five years of carrying the family name, it was only recently that I found out what my grandparents (whom I have never met) did for a living when they were alive and a little bit more about my great grandparents who came from Guongzhou, China. Somehow, I needed to play catch up with my Dad; to know him and to know my roots.

Dad (the eldest son) in his dark shorts with some of his siblings (5 out of 12) together with my Yeh-Yeh (Grandpa) about 75 years ago.

My Dad is gentle in person, yet strong in spirit. A poem which was read out by my church pastor this morning couldn't have expressed it better about my father.

Daddy, Happy Father's Day. I love you.

What Makes a Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad

Author Unknown

And to all the fathers, stepfathers, fathers-to-be and spiritual fathers out there, Happy Father's Day!

Eight Days Ago

2008-06-14T13:45:00.004+08:00

I had wanted a grand birthday celebration when I turned 45. Five more years to the big five zero. Maybe do the Macarena and dance till the cows come home. I refuse to grow old or rather, one year older.

But what you want is not necessarily what you will get. My birthday slipped in quietly on the morning of the 6th and left equally incognito 24 hours later. Well, almost. A handful of birthday messages came in through SMS and Facebook. There were no bundles of presents to open and it passed just like any other day. As I had taken leave from work for my birthday, my colleague had presented me with a lovely gift pack from Crabtree & Evelyn a few days earlier and THAT had already been opened before the actual day. I couldn't wait! Of course, the gift delighted me to bits and helped to soothe the worries of an upcoming appointment with my gynae. (which I may write about later).

Papa Bkworm didn't let the day go by without a touch of pomp and fanfare so he dropped a hint with the servers at Italiannies where we had my birthday dinner and that brought a group of servers to our table just before dessert was served. They sang. With tambourines and gusto, they make it known that Bkworm was celebrating her birthday and I even got to blow a candle which sat on top of a slice of bread and butter pudding, compliments of the restaurant. Awww.....the Filipino server and leader of the pack is so cute! *feels like a teenager all over again*

I felt the heat rise to my face as they sang on top of their voices. Make no mistake. It was not a case of the hot flushes but really, Bkworm was blushing! That, sort of made up for the lack of a real birthday cake this year, though no fault of anyone since I had specifically requested that none should be bought as the last one we got for Little Bkworm's birthday took up a lot of fridge space when nobody took more than a slice each from the 1kg cake.

The next evening, as we were standing outside GSC waiting for the Prince Caspian movie to start, Papa Bkworm handed me a plastic bag. Inside was this - a hardcover volume of Sex And The City : The Movie.

It was a lovely surprise because I didn't even know that this book was already available in the bookstores. I've watched the entire six seasons of SATC and I am really looking forward to watch the movie, though not necessarily at the cinema, if you know what I mean. Will Carrie really marry Mr. Big in the end? And can Smith Jerrod finally tame Samantha Jones and make her a one man woman at last? Eeee.....I can't wait.

God willing, if I get to my fiftieth year, I shall have that grand celebration with a grandkid in tow, huh?? *laughs out loud*

A Very Short Break at Nipah Bay

2008-06-13T21:34:00.002+08:00

About two weeks ago as the Bkworms were frolicking about in the not-as-clear-as-Redang waters of Pangkor Island, I was drafting a blog entry in my head. We were trigger happy with the camera and I had so many thoughts lined up, I figured it would take me days to post them all up. In the end, I just posted an album of photos on Facebook. Done. No need to rack my brains further.

Several years ago when I was still in my thirties (ok, it was more than several years ago!) AND single, I had gone on budget holidays to Redang and Phuket; staying at one star hotels/chalets and surely not soaking in luxury of any form. As long as the toilets were clean, the rest didn't really matter. After all, where would one spend the bulk of one's time at the beach, if not at the beach!

Fast forward a few years and I am almost ashamed at my initial reaction when I reached our hotel of destination in Pangkor. I was horrified at the size of the chalet (though I have stayed in smaller ones), turned my nose up on the simple (but working) shower head and a toilet that won't flush. Little Bkworm was more vocal and made it quite clear that she would not be showering for the next three days in such a bare looking toilet/bath and a sink that have seen better days. Never mind that she had it worse when she was at her KRS youth camp two months ago. I swallowed the rising complaints that were already at the tip of my tongue and tried to help her see the positive side of things i.e. a beach that is a street walk away, packed to the brim with holiday makers and no semi naked Caucasian men resembling Matthew McConaughey at the beach!

But as the sun began to set and we spied the many road side stalls selling souvenirs and snorkels with the smell of barbequed seafood wafting through the air, I felt life seeping back into my tired body. The four hour journey from home to this island off the state of Perak had been long and arduous; the wait for the ferry ride was torturous! After the initial disappointment at our dismal quarters, the simple life of hornbills and barefooted children running around dripping wet from a swim in the sea was a nice change indeed. The next morning, we went further away from the crowds and spent a leisurely first half of the day in a quieter section of the beach. I bravely put on my teeny weeny bikini top but hidden under a short singlet and was mostly hiding in the water, lest I should be hauled up for indecent exposure since we didn't see any other females (no, not one person) in sight that had a swimsuit on. No, they were not naked. Rather, most of the holiday makers were covered up right up to their heads and they were clad the same way when they went into the waters. T-shirts, sarongs, track suits and head scarves! Yes, they all went a swimming along with screaming kids and rubber tubes.

My little gray singlet and blue swimming shorts would have been an abomination to them, not to mention the layers of fat that, I swear, were never there before I turned 40 just five years ago!

The holiday was short. Three days and two nights. Given more time, perhaps I would have summoned up enough courage to go on the banana boat ride or whiz around on a water scooter. I vaguely remembered saying something similar after I returned from a holiday to Phuket some years back. That would have been a nice feather in my cap before I turned 45 just a few days after I returned to KL.

Thank God for Astro and mobile coverage, we were still in touch with our movies and handphones. Just goes to show how spoilt, us city rats have become. Having stayed all our lives in the hustle bustle of a big city, lounging at the beach is indeed a nice break but give us a week more, I think I would be missing the malls, expensive coffee and of course, Wifi!

On the last day of our holiday, Little Bkworm asked if we could return and stay at the Havana Beach Resort again next year. Sort of like an annual pilgrimage. It looked like the young lady has gotten over her early disdain for the simpler things in life, hasn't she?

p.s. The Resort's not bad, actually. The place is quite popular with families and is located along one of the nicer beaches in Pangkor. Staff were friendly and helpful and if you don't mind the bare necessities, you will find the price affordable and a nice place to just relax for a few carefree days. Apart from that flush that wasn't working properly, they even had Star Movies playing on Astro (for entertainment when there is nothing else to do at night after a delicious dinner of barbequed seafood!) and most of their chalets are also fully airconditioned for additional comfort.

Why I Have No Time

2008-05-23T20:46:00.005+08:00

A friend has been lending me DVDs of the newer TVB Chinese series and I always tell her that I won’t be able to give them back to her quickly. She’s ok with that but simply cannot accept my reasons when I tell her that “I have no time!”

Fifteen years ago, I didn’t even know how to use a mouse. Ten years ago, I was intrigued with this thing called the Internet. I opened my first email account and learned how to chat on ICQ.

A month ago, I taught this same friend how to use Skype and just today, Facebook! Talk about evolving with the times. But I was only too glad to help. One more friend to chat on Skype and connect via Facebook, eh? *wink*

Yet what I can impart to her is so little compared to the knowledge of the young ones. Little Bkworm’s Friendster page is so colorful and full of blinking pictures with music to boot. She learnt it from her friends and I, in turn, am learning from her! Who says, the young cannot teach the old?

There is still so much to learn. And so much to do on the Internet. Don't know something? Check the Net. What's that thing again? Let's Google it! On top of that, I hardly have time to blog, go through my blogroll or check my Facebook. In short, barely scratching the surface of cyberspace. At this age?? Yep, I am no spunky youngster with the hots for computer games and neither am I some computer whiz that reads computer language like how one would read Shakespeare, but I AM addicted. That quite explains why “I have no time”.

Oh, did I ever mention that sometimes Papa Bkworm and I skype each other in the same room (ok, we were mainly sharing files which is faster than sending it by email) and buzz Little Bkworm who’s chatting online in the next room, to tell her that it’s time to shut down the PC and go to bed!

In case you think we can getting a little dysfunctional here, human related activities are still very much alive in this household…..when we are not busy at the PC. LOL!!

Have a great weekend, ya’ll!

Vision Vs. Vanity

2008-05-22T07:53:00.000+08:00

I love to read. But I don't read as much nowadays for the simple reason that I can't see the words clearly anymore. They have large print Bibles and Reader's Digest but I have yet to find books that have print big enough for me to read without my glasses on. I am not talking about myopia - short sighted but hyperopia - long sightedness.

Two years ago, I finally conceded defeat and went to make a pair of multi-focals. It was akin to admitting that I am now OLD! Only old people need reading glasses, no? My parents' bifocals came to mind. Lenses with a line in the middle; the top part for far vision and the bottom, for near. Multi-focals nowadays are just like your normal pair of glasses anyway.

But still, I got over my vanity and was thrilled that I didn't have to strain to read the text messages on my mobile or the fine print in the newspapers. Never mind that I couldn't wear the normal type of contact lens anymore because I would need to use a separate pair of reading glasses for, well, reading. But lately, the problem has resurfaced. According to my optician, while my short sightedness has stabilized, my long sightedness will worsen as I age! Reading is becoming such a bane and my eyes are usually so tired at the end of the day that getting out of bed the next day was sheer torture!

Last week, I had a brainwave. Actually, I had discovered by accident that I could wear my contact lens and still read reasonably well at the same time. I had put on one side of the lens and as I was searching for the other side in the disposable pack, I saw that I could read the tiny print on the top of the box! I remembered my boss telling me that she had gone for Lasik surgery to correct the vision on one eye as her ophthalmologist had advised that both her eyes would adjust eventually and she wouldn't need reading glasses after the surgery; depending on one good eye and the other still uncorrected to focus both near and far. So I cheated a little and went out with only one contact lens. It worked. And no, I didn't miss a step and fell into the drain.

I popped by my optician just to make sure that walking around with only one lens won't worsen my eyesight. Apparently, I am not the only one and it's all right to do so as long as I don't mind a less than perfect vision with only one lens. Although they do have multi-focal contact lens, I heard that they are relatively new technology and therefore, still very expensive.

The downside is, while looking better with my contact lens, I would still need to wear my reading glasses when using the computer. The distance is too far for sharp focus. So what's the point, huh? At the end of the day, my eyes still feel tired, I guess, from the strain of both eyes trying to focus with only one contact lens.

I may be vain but not entirely stupid, so I guess it's back to my multi-focals until I can afford to get those expensive contact lens I talked about earlier.

Anyone of you out there have the same problem as I do?

Mother And Friend?

2008-05-20T08:43:00.001+08:00

I once read in one of those parental guidance books where the author said that a mother IS a parent and therefore, can never be a friend. The author also went on to say that a mother who wants to be a friend cannot exert her authority as a parent fully and no child, especially teens would see their parent as a friend because friends and parents are, well, different.

I never thought of my own mother as a friend. She was my mother. Period. She took care of my needs, cooked for me, sewed my clothes, fed me medicine when I was sick and even helped me with my homework. I remembered how she would painstakingly helped me do my maps for geography and we would both be coloring those maps into the deep of the night! But we never discussed personal stuff and definitely nothing about boys. That was a taboo subject and very unbecoming of a young lady to be talking about the opposite sex. Any lessons on staying pure before marriage and warnings on premarital sex were given through veiled references to the Chinese movies we would watch together sometimes.

Years late, now with a teenage daughter of my own, I discover that it is not an easy thing to stay 'communicated' with the young lady. It's like walking on a tight rope. A balancing act - not to hold on too much, lest she should suffocate and yet having to stay firm so that she remains on the straight road. With so much more exposure to the world via different kinds of media, not to mention peer influence, Little Bkworm is a lot more street smart than I ever was when I was at her age.

My mother would never have allowed me to gush over Jason Castro (of American Idol fame) or even the cute school captain, as in the case with Little Bkworm now, whose vocabulary has been restricted to only three words - "He is SO hot!", something I hear almost every day. But I don't berate her immediately because if she cannot talk to me about something that is important enough for her to want to share, she certainly will not want to share anything else in her life later on. And as she faces more challenges in life, I would want to be there for her; not only to guide her but also to be family that she can turn to, in times of need.

While I want to keep a friendly ear and open mind before her, I also remind her that all this is part of growing up. Her feelings of love which seem so real now IS real to her but in actual fact would eventually fade because they are rooted in fantasy. How can you fall in love with someone without actually knowing them?

Having said all that, Little Bkworm is not all sugar and spice. There are times when I feel I am hitting a wall with her. Young people are strange. I should know. I was young once. She comes crying about a tiff with her friends but on the other hand still want to hang on to the 'friendship' because they are all she has. I want to tell her that all is not lost; that real friends don't treat each other like that but when you are thirteen and you want to fit in, reality advice like this don't really mean anything. So I just tell her like it is, hug her and let her know that no matter what, her family is still solidly behind her. I can almost hear her tell herself, "Mum doesn't really understand my problem", though I wish I can make her believe that I have gone through it and I really know how she feels.

While she is learning to grapple with adolescence, so I, too am learning to become a mother of a teenage daughter. And it's going to be a challenging task.

Taking A Break Too Far

2008-05-19T16:34:00.008+08:00

Too much walking from all that shopping? Need a place to rest your tired feet? What better way to enjoy a cup of coffee and relax than to find a comfortable sofa at Starbucks and put your feet up to 'recuperate'!

I was appalled at the lack of civic mindedness when I spotted this customer taking a break while sipping her iced drink and chatting on her mobile phone with her legs stretched out in front of her onto the other sofa chair placed directly across her. The middle aged woman was well dressed in a white colored pantsuit and judging from the shopping bags placed on the other sofa, money's not an issue either. She was oblivious to the din around her and it was quite a sight watching her twiddling her stockinged toes in public.

It was all the more shocking because the Starbucks outlet was very crowded at that time of day and I even overheard a customer asking another if she may share a table because there were no other available seats.

When I left an hour later, she was still enjoying the great Starbucks hospitality with her feet still off the ground.

From One Airport To Another

2008-05-18T00:40:00.001+08:00

My 83 year old father boarded a flight to Singapore yesterday evening. It was his first flight alone and a first, using budget airline, Tiger Airways. Though I was worried about him being alone on the fifty five minute flight, I was more than happy to see him take a short vacation with Lara, away from some rather unpleasant events that have taken place recently; that I shall get into, in another entry.

Tiger Airways operates from the LCCT - our Low Cost Carrier Terminal which is located approximately 20km from the KL International Airport Main Terminal. Since AirAsia's inception in 2001, I have never taken a flight on AirAsia. And when its operations were moved to the LCCT, I have never set foot in this budget terminal until today. I shouldn't be surprised at the hustle and bustle at the airport;the noise and crowds remind me of the market! Its' CEO, Tony Fernandes surely had his vision realised when he said "Now Everyone Can Fly". But Dad didn't fly AirAsia yesterday. Lara booked him on Tiger Airways from Singapore as it worked out to be about RM100 cheaper.

A few shots of the LCCT from the outside. Couldn't take any inside. Much too crowded.

My colleague took a flight from LCCT when she went on holiday last year and she told me that the terminal looks like a warehouse. I thought she was joking but it wasn't too far from the truth. Everything looked haphazard and the place was so crowded, there was no place to sit! People were almost running into each other with baggage trolleys and all the eateries there were spilling over with people. But then again, what more can we expect when the fare's so cheap, huh? At least, they still have McDonald's and Coffee Bean there, neither of which I can do without. *wink*

Can you spot Coffee Bean??

On the upside, I was quite impressed with Tiger Airways when I requested for assistance for my Dad; that the crew will look out for him and make sure he doesn't end up waiting at the wrong gate or boarding the wrong flight since I won't be able to stay with him until he is safely in the plane. The stewardess at the check in counter accompanied my dad through the immigration check and walked with him to the boarding gate. I supposed everything went well because he arrived safely at Changi Airport an hour later.

My handsome Dad happy to be spending the next few days with his other daughter!

After we left the LCCT, we drove towards Subang Airport Terminal 3, which is about 50 km away. Hence the title "From one airport to another"!

It was a little early for dinner but it was an opportunity to have my favorite crabs at Lala Chong which is situated just opposite Terminal 3. I have blogged about Lala Chong before here and here. It was pure bliss soaking the steamed buns into the crab gravy and slurping every bit of it, wishing that the magical eating fest would never end. In case, you too, are a Lala Chong fan, the proprietor mentioned that they may be moving to their other branch which is currently already operating at No. 31, Jalan PJU 1A/5A, Ara Damansara, PJ.

I thought that was a fitting end to a long day out....mostly driving on the long, long road to the LCCT and back. But those crabs were worth it.

Chasing The Alphabets

2008-05-17T07:14:00.000+08:00

They used to have Scrabble. Now they have Scramble.

And that's exactly what Papa Bkworm has been scrambling for almost every night before he goes to bed. His version of a night cap!

Scramble requires its' players to make as many words from the alphabets given on the game board. The trick is these words must be in order and they must be connected. The competitive streak in Papa Bkworm has got him chasing game after game every night, trying to beat his last best score. There's an ambitious Capricorn for you.

He could have his office work all laid out on the desk but his fingers would be tapping away on the keyboard; not doing his project paper or spreadsheets but trying to beat the clock, trying to find those elusive words from the alphabets on the screen.

So until the addiction dies, he only has eyes for those sixteen alphabets on the game board, I'm afraid.

Do you think a nice new negligee will do the trick?

Returned To Sender

2008-05-16T08:49:00.001+08:00

This entry is about lost chances; ones that can never be found again, leaving one too late for regrets.

I knew Nori since my early working years more than twenty years ago. We didn't talk much with each other at first. She had a very fierce countenance especially if she wasn't smiling but once you get to her funny side, her laughter literally boomed across the office. She was garrulous, at the same time, open hearted with those who know her.

Sometimes similar circumstances bring people together. We found solace in each other as we went through difficult times in our respective marriages. We both came out of it, seemingly unscathed at first but in the end, still could not salvage what went wrong in the first place.

After I left the company, I continued to stay in touch with her. Come each September, I would send her a birthday card. She was still with the same company but as she worked shifts in the Call Center and since I didn't have her home contact number or address, the annual birthday card was all we had. I didn't know how much the cards meant to her until a mutual friend told me that Nori had quoted this as an example during a company training session on how much she had appreciated my efforts to stay in touch with her through the years.

Last September, as in past years, I mailed out a birthday card to her. Two weeks later, the card was returned with the reason that she was no longer with the company. I put it aside, meaning to get in touch with another mutual friend to find out where Nori had moved away to. The weeks passed. The school holidays came and then there was all that Christmas festivities. School reopened in January and more hustle and bustle, trying to settle Little Bkworm into secondary school. The returned card got pushed further and further into my pile of things to do.

In February this year, as I was browsing along the aisles of a supermarket in Singapore, I received an SMS. It carried sad news. Nori had passed away suddenly. Nori who wasn't much older than me had died of a stroke.

I still remember the wave of cold that swept over me as I read that sms. A million 'should haves' ran through my mind. I wasn't much a friend, was I? All those years of card sending amounted to nothing because I didn't actively pursue that friendship when a 'Returned To Sender' was stamped over a card, foolishly believing that all those earlier cards I sent were sufficient to 'keep in touch'. I should have tried to contact her earlier. I should have made that effort. I should have but I didn't and now all that are left are regrets.

And that is a difficult thing to live with.

Of Mommies Blogs and Blogging

2008-05-15T20:31:00.002+08:00

I've had this blog for about more than 3 1/2 years now. It started with a need to write down my thoughts, especially after my mother's death. Also, that period coincided with my stay-at-home phase where I actually thought the writer in me was going to burst forth and I was going to make my millions selling my first book. Of course, I know better now. Sigh!

Then there came a phase where I pushed myself to update my blog everyday. A new entry must somehow be birthed to let my readers know what was going on in my life. New day, new entry. I still remember the intensity and the intense pressure I put on myself when I couldn't come up with anything by the end of the day.

The pressure has not exactly eased that much since then. It just comes in waves. LOL!! The recent one got me off the blog radar for more than three weeks. Then the Man With The Hammer came yesterday and it broke the silence.

This morning as I was going through my blog feeds, I felt so overwhelmed by BP's entry. She writes so beautifully and with such ease. The words just flow one after another. I really believe it is her love for her family that oils every sentence, gushing out of her words to reach and bless her readers. Her pictures paint a thousand words and more. Each frame tells its' own story and the ones about her two young sons endear her family even more to her readers. She may be thousands of miles away from where I live but her blog brings her closer than a neighbour, dearer than a friend. Having singled her out, I don't think any less of all the other mommy blogs that I read - Stay-At-Home Mum, MamaBok, Peep-a-Peek, Gargies just to name a few. All special in their own ways. All with their own unique stories to tell.

Their children are still so young. I feel old just reading about them *wink* ....... stories of milk bottles and diapers. Kids in kindy. Trips to dentists and doctors. Every day is a new experience. I reminisce and smile at the pride of each mommy as they regale excitedly over every milestone in their youngsters' journey in life. Because, I too have been there. My little boy is now a man. My Little Bkworm has just officially became a teenager. She turned 13 this past Monday. Due to their nine year age gap and also the many things that have happened when Phoenix was in his teens, I believe my experience as a mother of a teenage daughter will be a new one all over again.

And that's going to be a lot of blog material to work on, don't you think?

The Man With The Hammer

2008-05-14T14:35:00.004+08:00

I usually don't blog about office stuff but this.....I got to share.

Aside from my two bosses, there is only one other staff working together with me. This morning both my bosses were away for a convention in town, leaving me to man the fort until my colleague arrives later in the morning. But she called in later to say that she was still stuck in the doctor's office and would be late.

So there I was, enjoying the solitude and the liberty to do my work without being disturbed when a man came to the office door. He knocked on the glass panel and I went to see what he wanted. You see, we just moved to a new office, so contractors and suppliers are still coming around to put in the finishing touches. This guy is middle aged and he waved a delivery order at me from the other side of the glass door. He was supposed to come and fix some chairs in the meeting room. I know I always teach my kids never to open the door to strangers but I opened the door to let him in.

I showed him to the meeting room and he proceeded to repair those new chairs. After a while, he turned and asked for my boss. I told him that she was not in. His next question - "You are ALL alone then?"

I, immediately went on red alert.

The office space is not very big - just the size of one shop office. He could very well see that I was alone at that moment. I told him that my colleague has just stepped out for a while and will be back soon.

He walked towards me, his hammer swinging beside him. I tell you, he could have hammered me with it and no one would find my body until much later!

(Yeah, that was how it looked like!)

"Okay, the job's done. Sign on the D/O and give me back the last two copies".

I went back to my desk, signed the D/O and had it stamped before handing it back to him. From the corner of my eye, I could see that that his eyes were darting around. I quickly gave him back his copies and ushered him out the door!

Then only could I breathe a sigh of relief!

The Olympic Torch Relay

2008-04-21T16:55:00.004+08:00

Today was our country's turn to host the Olympic torch relay; a part of the flame's journey through 23 cities in five continents, arriving in Beijing for the 2008 Olympic Games in August. A 130-day, 85,000 mile journey from Olympia, Greece to China.

The relay was to kick off from Dataran Merdeka at 2.15 pm. The torch would then be passed to the torchbearers, making its way through the streets of Kuala Lumpur, passing several landmarks before ending at the KLCC about 6 pm. This is only the second time Malaysians will get to witness the historic event up close. She last hosted a leg of the torch relay in 1964 when Japan became the first Asian country to host the Olympics.

As Papa Bkworm's office is in the city centre, he managed to record a short video of the run. Since it took 44 years for the torch relay to be hosted here in Malaysia after the first time in 1964, I doubt I will live to see it happen a third time. I'll just have to make do with this instead......

A Most Fitting Illustration

2008-04-20T01:01:00.005+08:00

It's Sunday today.

Friday and Saturday whizzed by so fast, I barely knew what happened.

What happened, ah?? *blur*

And tomorrow.....let's not talk about tomorrow, please?

I think this penguin and his friend demonstrated my sentiments perfectly ........

Daffodils

2008-04-19T14:21:00.000+08:00

One of my all time favourites..........

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Poem by William Wordsworth

**************

One wish in my heart is birthed within,
The bliss of the poet, will I share,
In a field of dancing golden daffodils,
A solitude, blissful; with not a care.

Dancing with these golden daffodils,
Their heads blowing with the wind,
I shall soar higher, higher and higher,
In my mind's eye; to places I've never been.

So now you may just understand,
How much this poem speaks to me,
More than some lines about golden daffodils,
But that my imagination shall set me free.

- Bkworm -

Can't sleep without you.....

2008-04-18T16:13:00.000+08:00

There are two reasons that can render me sleepless at night. One is having too much to think and the other, not having my other 'love' on my bed - my bolster!

Yes, I am a middle aged woman and I still need my bolster. My bolster is affectionately referred to as 'lap cheong' (meaning sausage because it's long and straight in shape) in our family. I have had this 'lap cheong' with me for about five years now. It's no longer as 'solid' as before and in fact, pretty much out of shape but who cares - I still need my bolster as much as I did from the time I was born!

I usually sleep on my side and with my arms around the bolster, I feel comforted and relaxed. I guess that's how babies must feel when they have a bolster between their legs and their arms wrapped around one, eh? I am so used to sleeping with a bolster that whenever I have to sleep in a hotel, I always need an extra pillow as a subsitute for a bolster, just so that I can fall asleep!

A few days ago, my colleague was telling me that her sister who was returning to Australia after a holiday here, had to pack a bolster home because it's not something that is sold over there. And she, like me, is one of those who cannot sleep without a bolster at night. Her old one at home has to be replaced and hence, she's flying a new one back with her.

Does anyone else have this same need for a bolster just like us?

A short post camp report

2008-04-14T08:20:00.003+08:00

The little munchkin has come home. From boot camp!

We picked her up from school on Sunday afternoon. As the group of youngsters slowly trickled out of the school compound, we, like the rest of the parents who were waiting eagerly outside, began looking out for our daughter. I thought I spotted her coming out of the side gate, so I got out of the car and began walking towards her. As the girl turned and walked towards me, I hesitated.

“Eh, I think I got the wrong girl.”

Fancy not recognizing my own daughter!

But she continued walking towards me. When she was about a foot away, she handed me her bag. I recognized that bag!

It was Little Bkworm. Tired and sweaty. She looked as if she hasn’t slept for days, her usually rounded face has lost some of its’ chubbiness and she was a lot more tanned that I last saw her, just three days ago. Which explained why I wasn’t quite sure at the beginning!

“Mum, don’t mind the smell. I haven’t bathed for three days!”

On the way home, we heard the gist of her three day camp experience; the games, the instructions, the daily exercise regime and the tough BUT fun times that she had. Once we got home, she took a long shower and then fell asleep right until the next morning where another school day awaited her.

I looked in on her several times during the night. As I sat on the side of her bed, I felt a little ‘sam toong’ (heart ache) to see my ‘baby’ so exhausted and yet incredibly proud of her that she had survived her first camp.

The beginning of more things to come.

Oh, by the way, can anyone tell me how to wash a sleeping bag?

The Butterfly And The Cocoon

2008-04-13T13:52:00.007+08:00

Ok, I am guilty. I spied on Little Bkworm at her camp yesterday night. Her father and I drove by her school after dinner but we couldn't see a thing. It was pitch dark and all we could see were the outline of some tents erected around the field. Maybe we were expecting a group of youngsters sitting around a campfire and singing songs!

As we drove away, the truth suddenly hit me. Our children need us in their lives. They depend on us to take care of them and cuddle them when they are young. But once they reach adolescence, they break away. Not that they don't need us anymore but that 'need' has evolved. They need their own space as they grapple with being young adults. They need to experiment with different feelings and emotions; learning to deal with each facet of life as a teenager in the best way that they know how. And behind all these, they still need us to support them; no longer like holding their hands to cross the road or physically feeding them food. But rather to let them know that no matter what happens, we will still love them and be there for them. To guide them when they are unsure of what to do and not to judge them when they fall.

It's harsh reality especially when it didn't seem too long ago when she can't sleep without a goodnight kiss and hug from us. When you love your kid, you want to protect them from all of life's hardships and hurts. You wish you can take that blow instead of it hitting your kid's fragile heart. You want to keep them safe from all of the world's wickedness and selfishness. But you know you can't because they can't grow without the frictions of life.

I love the story below....

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it had and it could go no further.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly. (author unknown)

In the middle of the night, I was woken up by the sounds of heavy rain outside. My thoughts immediately went to Little Bkworm, sleeping in her tent out in the open field. Will she get wet? Or will she be cold? Is she sleeping well? Many questions went through my mind. I prayed and asked God to watch over her even in the rains and I went back to sleep.

Surely God who made that beautiful butterfly will know how to take care of her too.

The Home Song Stories

2008-04-12T14:28:00.002+08:00

(spoilers ahead.....)

I've been very busy these last few days. Haha.....busy watching DVDs. Unfortunately, as with my long list of unread books, I have an equally long list of unwatched DVDs. So I told myself, enough is enough. And it really helps when the owners of some of those DVDs have been hinting like mad that they have been 'missing' their property very much and I am so guilty of not returning them quicker than I should. Oops! Anyway......

I watched this fantastic movie called The Home Song Stories on Thursday after putting it off for more than three weeks. When my colleague lent it to me, I saw the cast list and the only name that was familiar was Joan Chen. Frankly, I have never watched any of her movies but have read enough of entertainment magazines to know that she is one of the very few Chinese actresses that have made a name in Hollywood. It is a story about a Shanghainese night club singer who moved to Australia in the 70s with her two children and how she lived her short life, filled with sorrow, distrust and discontentment. And her poor kids!

She was largely dependent on the men in her life and yet unable to sustain any relationship due to the past. Watching her begging and crying each time her 'men' showed signs of leaving her was heart wrenching. It makes you want to shake her and tell her that she ought to stand up for herself and be strong for her two children, a young son and a teenage daughter. Joan Chen was splendid as the struggling mother.

The story was told through the eyes of her son and is based on a a true story. This Australian released movie has won many accolades and awards. If you can get your hands on this movie, I think you, too will enjoy it as much as I have.

Here's the trailer for The Home Song Stories..........

* Update to previous entry - I've a few friends who have since asked me how they were going to 'hug' me or encourage me or just share with me their experiences through their comments if I had deactivated the comments function. Truthfully, I missed those too. So, I am now back to square one. *perplexed at myself*

Blog Friday

2008-04-11T07:35:00.004+08:00

It’s Friday and it is blog time again!

Yes, it does look that way, doesn’t it? Most of my posts of late were posted on Fridays. I haven’t had much time during the week to sit down and blog. Usually, I just breeze through my blog roll and then I am done with ‘blogs’ for the day. Having said that, I still feel terribly guilty, not checking for comments and replying to them before they become mouldy! I find myself fretting about it all the time and it’s stressing me out completely!

When I read Mumsgather entry on Death By Blogging, I know exactly what she meant. As a means of self control (mine), I had deactivated the comments function to prevent ME from fretting unnecessarily AND that I will not feel so bad when nobody leaves any! My late mother would have aptly described this action as cutting off your toes to avoid the earth worms! Go figure that one out.

Nothing much on the office front. Work seems to be seasonal. I still bring my work home on some days, though with much reluctance but work is work and it has to done! Yet there are some days when work’s a breeze and I am actually happy to be working again. The office will be relocated to a new building in the next couple of weeks, so there will probably be much to do until we all settle in the new place. Time to flex these under-used muscles for some serious heavy lifting when that happens. There are few things to moan about but who knows who may be reading this blog, so office gripes are better kept within the four walls of the home, yah?

I am feeling pretty ‘empty-nesty’ today because Little Bkworm had just left for school and she won’t be home until Sunday afternoon. She will be away for school camp under KRS (Kadet Remaja Sekolah), a cadet unit for youths. Actually, I am glad that she is taking part in this kind of outdoor activity. Last year when her primary school organized a similar camp on teambuilding (and I thought teambuilding exercises were for working adults only!), she refused to go, saying that she would miss home …. or rather, the comforts of home! This year, she volunteered and was the first one to hand up her permission slip! How does one figure out the mind of a teenager??

Whatever it is, I shall look forward to some couple time with Papa Bkworm. Maybe tonight we shall go and see if there are any discos left in town and by that, I mean, discos that play retro music. Who knows, eh?

Can you picture this….old bkworms jiving to old music? LOL!!

*Night fever, night fever, We know how to do it,
Gimme that night fever, night fever, We know how to show it...*

It's time to go job hunting, isn't it?

2008-04-06T07:59:00.000+08:00

As my late mother would often complain to us - "The king himself is not anxious, yet his eunuch is more anxious than he is." ......Wong dai mm kap, tai karm kap...., I now fully understand what that means!

Phoenix has finally finished his college education. And thus, it is time to look for a job. But is he in a hurry to be financially independent (at least, off his parents' payroll)? It doesn't look that way at the moment. Sigh!

As a good and concerned mother, I gave him lots of tips on how to write an impressive CV. I believe I flipped through the classified section of the papers these last few weeks far more than I ever did when I was looking for a job for myself years ago. You don't want to know what other things I did to clear the path that he may find the road to getting that first interview a lot easier. Sigh....maybe I had done too much. Should I just leave him alone to find his footing in this brand new world of adulthood??

I wonder if he is fully aware of the stiff competition out there to get hold of a piece of the employment market? I was at the JobStreet Career and Training Fair yesterday afternoon and the entire exhibition hall was filled with youngsters, all like eager beavers, sniffing out for the best position suitable for them. At my insistence, Phoenix had gone over for a look-see a day before (which was the first day of a three day event) and he came back, not too impressed with whatever he saw there. I REALLY don't know exactly what he is looking for. Maybe he has his own plans. I don't know.

Papa Bkworm thinks I should just leave him alone and let him find his 'way' around. He should be old enough to take responsibility for his own life from now on.

Maybe I am just too anxious......wanting the best for him. Wouldn't you do the same for your kids?

My Mother's Mouth

2008-04-05T21:55:00.004+08:00

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. My tossing and turning must have woken Papa Bkworm from his slumber because he woke up long enough to ask me if everything was ok before he fell back into deep sleep again.

In the silence of the night, aside from the soft whirring of the fan at the foot of the bed, I could hear my own breathing. I close my eyes tightly, hoping to drift back into sleep but my thoughts floated to the time when my mother was lying motionless on the hospital bed in the middle of the family home, waiting to die. It’s such a cruel description but essentially, that was what it was.

A part of me knew where these thoughts were heading and I tried to steer myself away from them, yet the other part of me continued to re-live my mother’s final days on earth. I can still hear her voice in my head. She used to call me, Ah Wai (yes, that is my Chinese name), a deep and low voice, gentle but firm. I could hear that same voice asking me how the work day had been. And that same voice that turned angry when I didn’t accede to her wishes which I had thought, at that point of time, to be unreasonable on her part. That voice.

And then, the shape of her mouth when she laughed, when she spoke, when she called my name. Her mouth had the shape of a ‘ling kok’ (water caltrops), curved slightly upward at the ends. It reminded me of Fung Bo Bo’s mouth. Towards the end of her days, that beautiful mouth became a perpetual shape of an ‘O’. Her lips were dry and cracked, no matter how often we dabbed it with soft, wet cotton wool. She couldn’t close her mouth completely, yet out of that opened mouth, there came no sound. As silent as the eyes that kept looking up at us, her children and grandchildren who were tortured by the sight of her suffering, wanting to lift her out of her intense suffering, yet unable to. The mouth that could no longer call my name or call out to those who loved her so much and who would give anything to have her well and smiling again.

The tears welled up immediately and I cried all over again into my pillow.

An Old Fashioned Potty

2008-04-05T11:04:00.000+08:00

"Ewww.....THAT'S yucky!"

Little Bkworm screws up her nose in disgust. I was telling her about the use of the chamber pot when I was her age.

I wanted to post a picture of a chamber pot here but I don't have one right now. For those of you who were married the traditional Chinese way, you'd probably know what I am talking about. The chamber pot is usually coated in enamel, red and white in color and sometimes adorned with the picture of the Double Happiness.

When we were little girls, my sister and I used to have one of these chamber pots in our room. It was for us to relieve ourselves in the middle of the night, without us having to leave our bedroom to use the toilet outside the room. After urinating, we were supposed to cover the pot with a wooden cover.....eww....yeah, I know....

The next morning, we would turns to empty the pot in the toilet, wash it, to be re-used at night. I think we lived with that routine until much later when we were old (and brave) enough to find our way to the toilet in the middle of the night.

I think the only potty one sees in this day and age is the kind that toddlers use for potty training, so I can't blame Little Bkworm for balking at the fact that I had used one right up to my teens!

I wonder how many of you out there have ever used one?

5 a.m. in the morning?

2008-03-28T06:41:00.004+08:00

"What?? Are they crazy??"

Yep, that was my exact response when Little Bkworm came back from sports practice yesterday afternoon and said that she had to be in school by 5 this morning for some last minute marching rehearsals. It is her school sports day today.

I understand that they may have to be in school a little earlier to prepare but at five in the morning??!! I asked if the school has given any official notice about this but she said it was at the team leader's instructions. Okay, mummy here contacted THAT said leader and she (a fifth former, all but only 17) told me that while there will be a guard at the school, there will be no teachers present. And if I was worried about Little Bkworm's safety, I can come watch them practice. Little Bkworm was all flustered that I was interrogating her leader but hey, with all that crime out there now, I have every right to be concerned!

Later in the night, her team leader informed Little Bkworm that the time has been changed to six instead. So this morning, at 6 am, we dropped her outside her school and saw that many other students were also sauntering into the school grounds at the same time. So, looks like this is an accepted practice. Sigh!

Maybe this is how secondary schools work nowadays, eh?

Yawn! I wish I can go back to bed but work starts in another two hours, so might as well blog about this and surf the internet a little before then.

Have a great Friday, y'all!

Brown versus White

2008-03-27T20:09:00.000+08:00

Recently, someone gave me a small bag of brown rice.

I heard a lot of good stuff about eating brown rice. It is supposed to be more healthy with more vitamins and minerals in it compared to white rice but not as tasty, though.

Do I cook it the same way as I do with white rice?

Anyone can help me with this?

A Bagful of Figs

2008-03-24T15:23:00.001+08:00

Lara came back over the Good Friday weekend and we had a great time, catching up, despite that she had a bad cough. I believe she benefited greatly from retail therapy, thanks to the favourable foreign exchange rates. In her favour, of course.

She went back to Singapore yesterday morning. A very, very short trip indeed. Just as we were approaching the bus terminal half an hour before departure time, I saw my dad standing near the parking lot waiting for us! It was quite shocking because Dad and Lara had already said their goodbyes the night before and it was agreed that we, Bkworms would fetch Lara to the terminal so that Dad wouldn’t have to drive all the way to the city centre. Dad’s not young anymore and at 83, he’s definitely not the adept driver that he has been the last six decades. We thought he must been missing Lara badly and wanted to send her off, if only to get to spend a few more minutes with his youngest daughter.

But he actually wanted to give some figs to Lara. Apparently these figs, when boiled as soup, have medicinal properties and would be good for her cough!

My dad is 83 going on 84 end of this year. He still goes red when we hug him and tell him we love him. He waves us away when we show him affection and he would never ask us for anything and would rather scrimp and save, so that he could give extra pocket money to his grandchildren. He loves us in his own way and he demonstrated that love yesterday morning when he handed the bag of figs to Lara, giving her precise instructions on how to make the soup! Now, how many men out there will do that? He has certainly picked up a lot of tips from my mother when she was still alive.

Isn’t it true that a parent’s love for his or her children knows no depth?

Things To Do But Didn't Do

2008-03-20T17:55:00.004+08:00

As I blog this, it's raining heavily outside and I am savouring the last few hours of this lovely Thursday afternoon. You see, it's a public holiday today. No office work to think about. *yay!*

When I woke up early this morning, I wanted to do some housekeeping of my laptop; clean up all the old files, back up those that I want and burn all my MP3 files into CDs. I have hundreds of digital photos sitting in different folders, most of which I have not made into prints. It's too expensive an affair to print photos nowadays, though I'd much prefer viewing my photos from a real photo album instead of scrolling them on the computer! My laptop is already more than 3 years old and it's still running good except at a slower speed, probably due to the hundreds of files that I have accumulated over time.

But guess what? It's almost six in the evening and I haven't done a thing! Sitting here, reading at Borders seems to be a far more interesting thing to do. So much for all those housekeeping plans and much more, eh? You think having a "To-Do List" will help??

As the seasons change....

2008-03-18T00:13:00.001+08:00

Friends come and go, just like the turn of the seasons.

I remember the summers when readership of this blog seemed so warm and then spring came ...... and there appeared to be that spring in the step when readers come and visit and friends drop in with their comments. A lot of hustle and bustle. A lot of good feeling there. And then the autumn winds blew and a slow silence began to slowly sweep across Bkworm's 'home'. I shiver, thinking of the complete standstill when the cold winter comes.

Simple American, I miss reading about your ups and downs of being father, husband and entrepreneur. Did I ever tell you I love those Korean stories you wrote those early days? I think I did. Yes, I believe I did.

And I wonder too, what is happening in Baine's World? And Fishtail ..... have you gone for yet another cruise or are your students keeping you busier than ever? Aargh, I miss those Ikea breakfasts.

Marita, May, Mother Superior and some. All excellent writers in their own way, telling their stories and sharing their thoughts. If you and I have been communicating regularly, you won't find your name here. I hope I never will.

This is what happens when I am up to my neck with work (just finished with some Excel spreadsheets - homework from work!) and I am quite zombied. Which explains the rambling.

I guess writing has been and will always be a form of therapy for me.

The Macarena

2008-03-17T07:31:00.000+08:00

Man! This is so uncanny!

This idle mind was thinking of what to blog this Monday morning.........

thinking.......

thinking.......

*sips some tea for inspiration*

and finally decided to go and see if Blogthings have any interesting new quizzes.

I found this topic and went on to answer the few questions as honestly as I could remember.

And wallah! it's the Macarena.

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Macarena by Los Del Rio

When I dance they call me macarena

And the boys, they say that I'm buena

They all want me, they can't have me

So they all come and dance beside me

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

Let me explain.

1996 was certainly the beginning of a different tomorrow for me. I had spent years before hiding in my little 'safe' world. I lived a straight and narrow life and my entire existence centered around my family and church activities. Before some of you start to throw sticks and stones at me, let me say there is nothing wrong with that. It is what probably what the majority of women are doing today. But underneath all that calm were strong undercurrents that were slowly eroding away all the security that I have ever known in my life up till then. Only I knew the heartbreak within. I needed to freak out and break away.

I did the Macarena. Really.

I went to a local dance club with some friends (something I had never done before then) and when the DJ played the song Macarena, my friends dragged me onto the dance floor and the group of us did the Macarena together. I wasn't sure of the steps but suddenly the shy and straight-as-an-arrow Bkworm danced the night away. A lot of things happened after that night.

I really wish I could go into the details but they are just too torrid and hey, it's the past.

Why don't you go and try out the quiz and see if your answers will bring you the song that had meant something to you back in 1996?

Leaky, Leaky

2008-03-14T15:40:00.005+08:00

The recent elections were quite draining. Which explains my temporary absence from this space. I know it sounds stupid but the results were so astounding that I am still reeling from it. The Opposition stormed into the hearts of the people and trampled all over the National Coalition. Now let's see whether all those promises made will come to pass or not.

Anyway, back to more mundane things, there was something that came to mind when I sneezed just now. I did a tag in my last entry - "Before I was a mum..." and I left out one more thought. Before I was mum, I didn't know much about incontinence. Now? I do.

Incontinence is one of the after effects of childbirth. You know when everything becomes a lot looser! Couldn't even hold it when I throw up. One sneeze and that bladder had better not be full. It can be terribly embarrassing when one is outside home.

One of the remedy for urinary incontinence is to do Kegel exercises. Imagine your pelvic muscles lifting weights! Actually, all one has to do is to just pull in or "squeeze" your pelvic muscles (as if you are trying to stop urine flow). Hold this squeeze for about 10 seconds, then rest for 10 seconds. Do 3 to 4 sets of 10 contractions per day. Suppose to improve bladder control and does wonders for 'other' activities as well. The good thing about Kegel exercises is you can 'exercise' and no one will know that you are doing it!

Bet you didn't know that I was 'exercising' as I was typing this, did you?

Before I Was A Mum....

2008-03-05T22:10:00.003+08:00

Eternity tagged me with a tag on "Before I was a mum.....".

Wow, that was a VERY, VERY long time ago.

Before I was a mum;
I never thought I would be a mother at such a young age.

Before I was a mum;
I didn't have much to do with babies.

Before I was a mum;
I could never understand why my mum was so strict.

Before I was a mum;
I didn't know that being a mum means you must be ready for heartaches.

Before I was a mum;
I thought I'll have at least four kids.

Before I was a mum;
I wanted two boys and two girls.

Before I was a mum;
I didn't know I had such a high pain threshold. Try giving birth!

Before I was a mum;
I thought the statement, "Wait until you become a mother!" was overrated.

Before I was a mum;
I only spent on myself.

Before I was a mum;
I was nice and slim, weighing a LOT less than now.

The first chain of tag:
1. Lovelymummy
2. Pek Imm
3. Momisodes
4. Ling that’s me
5. Janicepa
6. AnnieQ
7. Allthingspurple
8. Montessorimum
9. clumsy mommy
10. Sandra
11. KittyCat
12. VivianZ
13. Sweetpea
14. Sasha
15. Giddy Tiger
16. Wen
17. Jo-N
18. Janice Ng
19. BlurTing
20. ViEmwk
21. Cookingmomster
22. Dancing Queen
23. Eternity
24. Bkworm

Supermums - you are now tagged. *grins*

Back to Basics
Stay-At-Home Mum
The Joy Of A Homemaker

Let's Vote!

2008-03-04T20:09:00.000+08:00

I have voted at the elections twice and both times I was pregnant. And no, I am not pregnant this time. The polling date is just around the corner but I have yet to feel the election fever in the neighbourhood where I live. I have no idea who is the chap that is running for the Parlimentary seat for this area; whose picture is on the very few posters hanging from lamp posts along the road. All I know he is with the National Coalition, known as Barisan Nasional (BN). But that's where the internet comes in useful, eh?

Who am I going to vote? Ghostbusters! Sorry, the tune was just in my head. *wink*

Last Sunday, we prayed collectively for wisdom to choose wisely; not endorsing the Party but the principles that will be represented. I have friends and family that are staunch believers of the Opposition. On the flipside, I also know of many who are still rooting for BN despite the kind of news that we have been reading in the papers.

I have made my choice. And that choice is between God and me. Unless of course, God forbid, if they have these pin-hole cameras installed in those voting booths! And that's no laughing matter!

On a lighter note, I was amused by the sight of Teresa Kok 'hovering' low outside my father's house.

One More Move

2008-03-04T16:57:00.004+08:00

I heard this illustration in church last Sunday.

There was a chess champion who went to an art exhibition somewhere in Europe. In that exhibition, he came upon a painting of a chessboard. Hovering on top of the chessboard and looking down at the chess pieces was the face of a man who had an evil cunning look about him; satisfied that the game is finished, obviously, to his pleasure. The painting was named 'Checkmate". Upon scrutiny, the chess champion noticed something. He quickly looked for the man in charge of the exhibition and told him that the painting has to be taken down immediately or else the name of the painting has to be changed. When asked why, he replied that the King still has one more move. The game is not over yet!

Just as God may have that one more move though our difficulties or that situation that looks so hopeless.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God and sinned,
From the Garden they were removed,
All seemed lost but wait!
The King has one more move!

Throughout the Bible, God continues to work behind the scenes, turning what had seemed impossible to possible.

Abraham and Sarah were given a son in their old age. (Genesis 21)
The Israelites delivered from the Egyptians. (Exodus 14)
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego thrown into the fiery furnace. (Daniel 3)
Elijah running from Jezebel. (1 Kings 19)
Peter delivered from prison. (Acts 12)
Saul's conversion. (Acts 9)

Our part is to trust in Him.

Isn't that reassuring?

Addiction

2008-03-03T22:08:00.004+08:00

How does one cure an addiction?

These pile of books are sitting right on top of my 'New-But-Not-Read' bin. And the bin is pretty big.

Is it the smell of new books, the glossy covers, the flipping of the pages or just the 'feeling' of a book in my hands that compels me to buy each time I walk into a bookstore?? It's like a perpetual itch that starts the moment I step into the store and it won't go away until I pay for at least one book at the cashier.

There are days when I would choose the books that catch my attention and then forced myself to put the 'chosen' ones back onto the shelves. The dragging of my feet out of the store is a most excruciating feeling.

Papa Bkworm is thinking of imposing a ban to stop me from going into ALL bookstores in the near future. But what is a 'bookworm' going to do??

What if...........

2008-03-01T14:37:00.002+08:00

While waiting for Little Bkworm to surf the internet at Borders this afternoon, I found time to read "An Hour To Live, An Hour To Love" by Richard & Kristine Carlson.

The book is basically a love letter that Richard Carlson wrote to his wife on their 18th wedding anniversary. He died three years later in his sleep, from pulmonary embolism. Life is but like the blowing of the wind, isn't it?

The title took my attention immediately. If you only had an hour to live, what would you do with that hour? Call your lawyer? Settle a score? Work out who will benefit from all that money you stashed in your bank account? Spend it with your loved ones? Food for thought there.

At the end of the book, Kristin Carlson shared a beautiful poem written by Norma Cornett Marek.

Tomorrow Never Comes

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly, and pray the Lord your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss, and call you back for just one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would tape each word and action, and play them back throughout my days

If I knew it would be the last time, I would spare an extra minute or two,

To stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you know I do.

So, just in case tomorrow never comes, and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you, and I hope we never will forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So, if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day

That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,

And you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,

That you love them very much, and you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay".

And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

© Norma Cornett Marek 1989

Don't wait for tomorrow.

Damages

2008-02-28T15:13:00.002+08:00

..... a legal drama I had enjoyed tremendously these last three days. A total of 13 episodes (inclusive of the pilot) of seat gripping suspense-filled television series revolving "around a brilliant yet ruthless lawyer (Glenn Close) attempting to win a class-action lawsuit against the former CEO of a corporation (Ted Danson) on behalf of his former workers, by any means necessary." (Read Wikipedia for more).

Remember L.A. Law? I used to follow it almost religiously when it was a hit back in the 80s. One of the very few 'law' shows that I like. When I saw Damages advertised on the huge billboard along the highway, I wasn't the least interested especially since it has Glenn Close acting in it. I don't like her or rather I didn't like the character she portrayed in 101 Dalmatians where she played the wicked Cruella and what a scare she was in Fatal Attraction. So no Glenn Close for me.

But my colleague who watched the whole of Damages Season 1 on DVD in one weekend came back to work on Monday raving about it and I was sold......with absolutely no regrets.

The plot is as twisted as Patty Hewes (the main character of the show) is cunning in her dealings with both her associates and clients. She played her character so well. You hate her for her manipulative ways yet take your hats off to the polish she portrayed on screen. Excellent piece of acting.

Watch it quick if you haven't.

Feeling The Pinch

2008-02-21T07:16:00.001+08:00

Little Bkworm takes the bus to school. Since we live in an apartment, the bus picks her up at a designated spot near our home. Papa Bkworm and I would take turns to take her downstairs in the mornings and stay with her until she is safely in the school bus.

While waiting for the bus, she would stand with me and we would chat; deciding what to eat for lunch or what's been happening in school. When the bus arrives, I would give her a quick kiss on her forehead and then she would get on the bus, find her seat and then turn to wave goodbye through the window until the bus turns the corner and we are no longer in each other's line of sight.

Lately, things have been a little different. We still walk down together. When she reaches the waiting place, she would stand by herself, sometimes re-tying her ponytail or fiddling with her shoe laces. And when the bus pulls away, she doesn't turn around to wave goodbye anymore.

Maybe it's not cool to be seen 'hanging on' to 'Mom'.

Maybe she's growing up and she needs her space.

Maybe it's just me feeling the little pinch in the heart places because my baby girl is growing up.

No inspiration

2008-02-19T16:34:00.000+08:00

I always look forward to meeting up with my friends, be it for lunch or even just for a cup of coffee. It’s the need for interaction and exchanging of ideas that never fails to get me going each time.

Last weekend, the Bkworms met up with the Board (of what’s left of it) for lunch. This is a group of friends who have been with me through thick and thin and we go back a long way. We don’t see each other very much because everyone is often busy with their own activities but we do try to meet up a few times a year especially when Straus is back in town.

I am not a big fan of Peranakan food especially with this sensitive stomach of mine. But one of the guys kicked up a fuss about eating any other foods OTHER than Asian, so the rest of us just gave in and we ended up at Ah Tuan Ee.

The conversation around the table was good, so, I suppose that was what really mattered. After lunch, we adjourned to Holly’s Coffee at the Curve.

An hour or so later, the gathering ended.

..........And very soon, so will this blog if I don’t get my inspiration back!

*pulls a face, throws up her hands in despair, packs her bags and runs away*

Thank you for being my friend.

2008-02-15T16:38:00.006+08:00

Little Bkworm told me happily the other day that the girl she considers to be her best friend (BFF, I believe, is the term the new generation uses) since primary school, is finally appreciating her as a true and loyal friend.

I've had a few best friends in my life. There is Kit from Primary 1 to 6. And then Eve from Sec. 1 to Sec. 5 and Katie from Pre-U days. When I came out to work, I was really tight with Straus. Girlfriends to share the ups and the downs, the joys and the sorrows and burning the phone lines like there was no tomorrow! Having said that, I've had my share of heartbreak when 'best friends' move away or the friendship just waned.

Just before Chinese New Year, BP honored me with the Forever Friends Award. (Thanks, BP, very much!)

It says:
A Ball is a Circle, no beginning, no end.
It keeps us together like a circle of friends.
But the treasure inside for you to see
Is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.

I am so touched by her award because there are not many people that one can meet and be comfortable with immediately. Okay, we haven't exactly met but I am pretty good with my instincts (a woman's intuition, perhaps) and she's one person, I think I can talk to with ease should we have the privilege to meet in person some day.

I'd like very much to pass on this award to my faithful friends whom I've met on this blog space. If you have been a silent reader, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your quiet support and for those who regularly leave me encouraging comments or just simply a comment to let me know that you care enough to share my thoughts, this award is for you too.

We can only be as good a friend as the friend that we are to others.

A Valentine's Day at home

2008-02-14T12:07:00.002+08:00

Sucks, ya?

While I should be thinking of what to wear for a cool Valentine's Dinner tonight, I am now propped up in bed with my laptop writing an entry on Valentine's Day. My stomach has been acting up again since last night and I like to credit that to some 'free' lunch from the office yesterday. Now you know why they say there's no such thing as a free lunch! The upside is I am on medical leave, so I got to catch up on reading blogs and such between toilet runs. Which also means, the dinner for two tonight will be postponed. Yep, Papa Bkworm, I am taking a rain check on that one! *winks*

Talking about Valentine's Day brings to mind those days when I was still working in the bank. Valentine's Day has always been a day to look forward to or dread, depending on how one looked at it. There were quite a few ladies in the office and the game of 'Who-are-those-roses-for' would start early in the morning until it was time to go home. Each time, the door to the office buzzed, everyone would look up to see who was coming in and if it was the delivery man/woman/boy/girl from the florist, one could almost feel the electricity in the air. Some would look up in expectancy. Some like me, would carry on with our work, secretly hoping that the man/woman/boy or girl would walk up to our desk with that glorious bouquet of red roses to the envy of the other female population in the office.

So you see, once I stopped working, the flowers stopped coming. Papa Bkworm's take was, "Honey, there's no office to send to. Who's going to see? Let's spend the money on something more worthwhile, yah!" Ok. That's what married people do. *comforts myself* And working part time now, doesn't count as real work. LOL!!

While I would love the attention of receiving a dozen roses from my 'loh koong', the realist in me also know better than have money spent in this manner, knowing fully well, how florists jack up the prices of flowers on this day. He loves me, shows it in all the things he does for me everyday and it's not going to wilt like fallen petals after a week. SAHM said it so well in her Valentine's Day post.

To you out there who loves to ask, "Eh, what did your husband/boyfriend/lover give you this Valentine's?", do remember that love needs no diamonds, flowers, chocolates or expensive Valentine's Day set dinners to make that love anymore real than a husband/boyfriend/lover who is really loving you in a million other intangible ways!

A Holiday That Was Too Short

2008-02-12T20:59:00.015+08:00

I am really getting rusty. It's taking me far longer time than before to come up with my first sentence for this entry.

So, how was your Chinese New Year? Mine flew by so fast I barely knew what happened those few days in Singapore! Yes, it was that fast.

Frankly, I never expected to travel so far again after all that has happened these last two years. For those of you who have been with me since 2006, you will probably know what I am referring to. I try never to venture too far from home and if I need to travel, I make sure that I didn't have to be on the road for too long. So you can imagine how hard it was for me to be on a four hour journey from Kuala Lumpur to Singapore this Chinese New Year. Just half an hour into the long drive, I began to feel uneasy. Although I had some reading materials with me as part of my distraction plan, I couldn't stop the panic rising within. I grabbed Papa Bkworm's forearm (he was the driver) and told him I was getting panicky. He kept me talking and after a while, the feeling wore off. At the Ayer Keroh rest stop, I changed places with Little Bkworm and I sat at the back for the rest of the journey. That helped a great deal and I made it to Singapore quite safely.

I love going to Singapore. I love the wide roads, the clean lines. Everything is just so spick and span! My only grouch is their super efficient law enforcers which had us SGD30-00 poorer this Chinese New Year. We got slapped with our first ever summons in Singapore, issued to us in the early hours (at precisely 2.52 am while we were all sound asleep!) of the second day of Chinese New Year for failing to pay for parking at the multi-storey car park near the flats where Lara lives. We were so confident that parking was free during weekends and public holidays until we spied the fine print on the sign board outside the carpark which has this written in brackets below 'Free Parking' - "between 7.00 am to 10.30 pm". Great. Really, we are innocent. Even Lara and her hubby who are both Singaporeans were not aware of the fine print. But the law is the law. Sigh!

Aside from this expensive glitch, the four days were rather quiet for us this time around. We didn't visit Orchard Road where the shopping belt lies. Didn't go to Borders either (which has always been part of our activities whenever we were in Singapore) and we didn't even stop by Breadtalk to get our bread, a thing that we never failed to do on previous trips. Yeah, I know, we have Borders and Breadtalk in KL too but it's just not the same as the ones in Singapore.

But we did discover a new place to shop. Mustafa is located in Little India in Serangoon Road and we were just SO awed by both the quantity and variety of goods for sale there. And they are opened for 24 hours! No kidding. And, no, we didn't shop for 24 hours for the simple reason that everyone were already tired out after an afternoon of window shopping at VivoCity and bowling at the SAFRA, courtesy of Lara's hubby. We were looking for a Turbo Broiler for my mother-in-law at Mustafa and once we bought it, we were out of the place in a jiffy.

Much of our time were spent at home, just eating and watching cable TV. Mostly just catching up with Lara and her hubby while Little Bkworm had a whale of a time, playing soccer and basketball with her cousin at a nearby park. I also had a chance to talk to Stay At Home Mum

(SAHM) over the phone and chatted with this nice lady for a few minutes, knowing that it wouldn't have been possible to meet up in person this time. Next time, SAHM, yah?

Also, Papa Bkworm learnt a new skill this CNY in Singapore.

He is so 'Mat Salleh' in his ways; a total banana (yellow on the outside but white on the inside, mah!) and such a blur when it comes to something so traditionally Chinese as playing mahjong. But the other three players at the table were most patient with him and took pains to explain to him the different characters engraved on the mahjong tiles and how the game is generally played. I was his 'wu so kwan si' - advisor, sitting by his side and trying to teach him the little that I could recall from the three legged mahjong sessions that Lara and I used to have with our mother during our school holidays years ago!

We left Singapore for home on Sunday morning. Traffic was smooth, hitting almost 110 kph until we reached Port Dickson where cars started to slow down and traffic was reduced to a crawl all the way until Nilai. I thought I was going to claw my way out of the car in panic (we were stuck in a jam with no end in sight!) but I was somewhat much calmer than our earlier journey down to Singapore. Maybe it does help to sit at the back.

The short holiday's over and we are all back to our daily routines. Back to work and back to school once again.

Getting Ready For The Year Of The Rat

2008-02-06T07:28:00.000+08:00

First thing first.....the office is closed today! Yipppee!!!

There's still 101 things to do at home and also some packing to be done for our trip down south to Singapore tomorrow morning, so the day off is really welcomed. The Bkworms will be celebrating Chinese New Year with my sister, Lara and her family this year!

With that 101 things still left to do before we head back to Papa Bkworm's parents' home for reunion dinner tonight, here's wishing all my friends and readers a very Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year! May the Year Of The Rat brings much blessings to you and your loved ones.

"Kong Hei Fatt Choy
Man Si Yue Yi"

I am now a 'mean' mother.

2008-01-31T15:19:00.000+08:00

My late mum was a great mother. But still, she was a strict parent and the disciplinarian at home. Came exam time and she would be breathing down our necks to study and the cane was always part of her method of motivation to get us glued to our books. Sometimes even the feather duster got into the picture, if you know what I mean! I can still hear her bellows ringing in my years and how she seemed so mean to me and my sister especially during exam times when she would force us to memorise our text books or else!

I told myself that I would never put my own children through the same kind of fear and punishment. I would do it the 'painless' way. The modern way. To reason and to talk.

Does it work? Is it effective?

I come home from work and the TV's already on. I am about to go to bed past eleven and she's chatting online with her friends. I ask if she's done her tuition homework gazillion times and ended up waiting for her at the door as she rushes through the last pages of her homework at the eleventh hour.

Well, obviously the reasoning and talking are not giving me the desired results.

So we engage some hard and fast rules .... and implement them. In return, we get tantrums, long faces and pouts that would break your heart. Where did my sweet angel go to??

How to be 'mean' and not come across as being 'mean' and get positive results at the same time? Pray tell. Sigh!

It's not easy being a parent, is it?

Touch Of Heaven

2008-01-23T16:02:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me the other day if she should visit her friend whose young daughter has been stricken with cancer. She wanted to know if she would be imposing on the family’s privacy if she did. My thoughts immediately went back to those days before my late mother passed away.

When my late mother was very ill a few years ago, my dad, my elder sister and I took turns to care for her. She was bedridden and was in constant pain. Looking back at those days, I wondered how we went through that period of difficulty. I wished for friends to come and visit, to share my burden, only to listen, if nothing else. My mother had little friends of her own and whatever relatives she had, they were dad’s. I longed so much for a touch of heaven here on earth but those who usually prayed until the heavens came down, were no where to be seen.

Later, when she was hospitalised, two of my dad’s sisters came to visit but what really touched me was when my aunt-in-law asked if she could come and pray for my mother. We didn’t exactly get off on good footing because she was a very conservative woman and seeing her nephew marrying a single mother must have upset her considerably. However, she remained amicable whenever we met at family functions. Given our history, I was really surprised when she wanted to visit my mother. She knew that there was nothing more that man can do for my mother but she believed that God can work a miracle; a miracle of salvation. What she did spoke louder to me about the her love for God and her faith than empty words without deeds.

My mother was already heavily sedated by then but I held on to the hope that her spirit would heed the call and turn her heart towards the path that would eventually lead her to heaven’s doors.

What I am trying to say is, sometimes all we can do is to just to be present, to hold a hand, lend a ear or say a prayer. It makes a lot of difference to the family that is walking through the valley.

A touch of heaven that the world needs.

How To Say No

2008-01-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

I have never been good at saying ‘No’.

It was one of those nights when I was dying for something sweet and I found myself at Secret Recipe to get myself a slice of White Chocolate Macadamia cake. I paid for my purchase and was about to head for home when I suddenly remembered that a new cupcake shop has just opened for business a few doors away.

Oh, well, no harm popping in to take a look, is there?

I walked into the brightly lit shop. There were no other customers around and one of the staff immediately introduced me to the different types of cupcakes arranged at the counter. I heard her rambling on about different types of vanilla and chocolate cream topping. In my mind, I was already thinking about the number of cupcakes that I was going to take home with me.

“So would you like half a dozen?” she said once she has finished with Citrus Garden.

I thought of Big Apple’s donuts and their six for RM9-50 offer.

“How much would that be?”

She smiled ever so sweetly and said, “RM25-00 for six, ma’am”

I looked at her, a little dumbfounded. I should have walked out at that moment. I mean, I was already holding a little box with a slice of my favourite cake from Secret Recipe but did I do that? No. Silly me.

I hesitated for a while and then asked her again, how much a piece would cost me.

“RM4-50 only, ma’am”

I still could have walked away but instead, I heard myself saying, “Then I’ll get two”.

Why two? One for Little Bkworm and one more for Papa Bkworm to ‘bribe’ him when he finds out that I had paid RM9-00 for two not-very-large cupcakes! And all because, I couldn’t say ‘No’!

What am to do?? *shakes head in despair*

Brain teaser

2008-01-22T07:05:00.000+08:00

Papa Bkworm has this to share with readers today......

Guess which one is the she-dog? And basis for your answer?

*Bkworm is smiling to herself, reflecting on Papa Bkworm's own answer and logic*

Something for Chinese New Year?

2008-01-21T22:24:00.000+08:00

Something for the ladies…..

I wanted to get some new undies for Little Bkworm and maybe some 'grandma' undies (because they are SO comfy) that will fit this extra large frame and still make me look sexy, if that is possible!

Jusco was having a sale so I went over to their lingerie section and saw some decent looking undies going rather cheap. Three pieces for RM10-00. Affordable and well, decent. Good for a teenage girl (no G-strings, thongs or feathers for the young lady, please!) and not too old fashioned for a middle aged woman like me. Then I saw a flash of red as another shopper lifted one undergarment to show her friend.

On closer inspection, this is what I saw……

Yikes! Panties for Chinese New Year.

Taking auspicious sayings a little too far for the upcoming Spring Festival. The Chinese words “Sang Yee Heng Loong” means "May one's business prosper". I wonder who would wear something like that??

Would you?

Busy as a bee

2008-01-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

I’ve been busy at work.

So busy that my boss has asked me more than a few times if there is any possibility of extending my working hours. In short, to be a full time employee and not a part timer, though we had an agreement at the beginning that I shall keep these ‘shorter’ hours for the next few years until Little Bkworm is older!

I put in almost six hours of work each day with no lunch break. But work volume has increased tremendously in the last two weeks (judging from the company's goals this year, it will only get busier!) and trying to finish everything within those hours each day is really getting to me. There have been more than a few occasions when I had to bring work home , just so that I can be ‘free’ to handle new work the following day. Two days ago, my boss came up to me and asked me that question again. Her parting words were very encouraging….. "If you can’t work longer hours, we can’t assign you more work.". Yep, she was THAT encouraging!

I told her that at the moment, I can’t commit to a full day because Little Bkworm is still young and I don’t like the idea of leaving her alone at home after school hours. Her response ? “Get a maid”.

I found her response thoroughly amusing. With only three of us staying in our small apartment, where will I stash this maid? Now why would I need that additional, unnecessary expenditure? I am no corporate high flyer and the salary I earn is, well, something I used to earn about twenty years ago.

Who knows, my boss may decide to get a ‘full timer’ instead and then Bkworm will be back to being ‘unemployed’ again. You’ll know when that happens, if it happens.

One of those moments...

2008-01-19T18:36:00.000+08:00

Before the wedding........

"Don't go changing...to try and please me....I love you just the way you are..."

A few years down the road........

A friend walks by and he quickly turns to his wife and whispers through gritted teeth, "Psst...your hair looks messy" *looks embarrassed*

Sigh. The reality of marriage.

Love Your Job?

2008-01-07T08:10:00.000+08:00

I got this in the email over the weekend ..........

From Long To Short

2008-01-05T13:47:00.000+08:00

I washed my hair last night,
And got myself a fright!
A clump of hair came falling off,
Tho' I didn't pull or tug with might.

Oh dear, am I going bald, I wondered,
What a scary, scary thought!
So I told myself, enough's enough,
Some remedy, I must sought!

This morning, I did the next best thing,
I had my long hair shorn,
After an hour at the hair salon,
A 'bob' hairdo was born!

I don't know if it will really help,
With less weight, less might fall,
I wouldn't want this coming year,
To have Bkworm become bald!

If anyone be so kind, out there,
Can offer a tip or two,
How to have a head of glorious hair,
I would really be grateful to you!

The Beginning Of A New Chapter

2008-01-02T15:19:00.000+08:00

I really didn't think I will blog so soon after my 'Bye-Bye' post end of last year. Not with a hundred different things at that top of my mind (and if you know me by now, you will know that they are ALL related to work because I will be back to work tomorrow after a two week break! *sob, sob!!*) .

The holidays officially ended this morning for the Bkworms when we had to get up at the crack of dawn (and it shall be so from now on until the next school term break) because Little Bkworm had to attend an orientation session for new secondary school students at her school this morning. Parents had to be 'orientated' too when the Discipline Mistress launched into her lecture on the merit and demerit system which is currently being practiced in that school and woe befall any student who breaks any laws listed in the little 'green' book (that being the color of the school rules and regulation booklet!).

After the 'lecture', the students went to their respective classes to get acquainted with their new surroundings, leaving the parents milling around outside the classroom looking in at the son or daughter from the windows of the class. Not surprisingly, most of the students kept to themselves, not having made friends with each other yet since all are new to the school. The parents seemed to be making more noise outside, each looking more lost than their child in the class!

"Do we have to pay the school fees today?"

"When are they distributing the new school books?"

"Is the session over? When can my child go home?"

"Do we have to submit these forms (believe me, it was quite a stack!) by today?"

Like everyone else, I looked into the class and saw Little Bkworm talking to the girl she was sitting with. She was fortunate because that girl happened to be her classmate from her primary school, so she was spared the first day blues of sitting among strangers. But children being children, I am sure these 'strangers' will become friends by the end of the week.

For a moment as I watched her from behind the windows, I felt a wave of emotion coming over me. There she was, in her new turquoise colored pinafore and crisp white shirt, beginning a new chapter of her life. Her studies will get tougher, no doubt and she will face new challenges as she steps into adolescence together with other girls and boys of her age. Growing up together.

It's too much of me, isn't it, taking a picture of her like that? LOL!! I can't help it. I am so proud of her, yet so overwhelmed at the same time.

It just seemed like yesterday when I took her by her little hand and walked with her into her first class in Primary 1. She sat down, turned to an equally small sized seven year old seated next to her and they started chatting! A minute later, she turned to me an asked me to wait outside because she didn't need me in the class with her! That independent streak is still evident in her life and I hope that will stand her in good stead as she learns new skills in these next few years of life as a secondary school student.

As for me, staying on top of things will be my immediate goal so as not to let the perfectionist in me stress me bald before the end of the year. Now, that would be bald, sorry, I mean bad, wouldn't it?

Bye bye 2007

2007-12-31T00:01:00.000+08:00

It seems to be customary to do a end-of-year post, reminisce on the year past and see what has been done and what has not. So here's Bkworm's last post for the year 2007....

Some years ago, a few of my close friends and I would meet on January 1st every year for coffee and have a long session of 'what-have-you-accomplished' and 'what-are-your-goals-for-the-year' sharing. Some common goals for the girls were finding a boyfriend, getting hitched or losing weight. For the guys, it would usually have something to do with promotions and bonuses. But frankly, I hated those sessions. Bah! No one has taught me early in life to make goals and work towards achieving them. Kids nowadays have it easier. Little Bkworm actually had to attend group motivational talks and goal setting sessions in school to guide (I think, goad would be a better word) them to academic success!

When I was a kid, I had to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up. Me? I felt I was never good enough for anything - maybe just good enough to be a teacher or a housewife like my mother. When I got married early in life, I seriously believe that I was just fulfilling my youthful ambition. Over the years, I realised that there is more in me than me. Let me pause to say here that being a housewife is actually one of the most difficult but yet most honorable career a woman can have. Trust me, you gotta be one to understand what I mean.

Anyway, sorry to digress. Back to the annual goal setting session with my friends, I would be grappling at straws trying to think of some gargantuan achievement from the past year and at the same time, set an immediate, achievable goal for the next one. And man, that was a TASK by itself. As the years passed, the group disbanded. And so did our annual meeting on the 1st of January. Then the blog came along and here I am at it again.

2007 has zipped by so fast that I can still breathe the anxiety that kick-started the year almost twelve months ago.

Little Bkworm sat for her UPSR exam (Primary Six School Leaving Exam) in September and after months of agonizing with her over her studies, her Kumon lessons paid off handsomely indeed. *grinning*
After four years of being a full time housewife, I went back to work. It sure feels good to have some money trickling in again. *more reason to grin*
Made some new friends over blogosphere and found some old ones through Facebook.
Went for a cruise holiday with my dad, my in-laws AND Fishtail together!
Found the peace to accept that people move on in their lives and there's nothing wrong with me when my group of close friends slowly drifted apart.

There IS something I really hope to achieve by end of 2008. Haha, I'll come back and tell you what it is later, yah!

But seriously....

do I want to lose some of this mid aged, mid rift baggage?
do I want to go for a real holiday overseas and not consider a trip over the Causeway as an over-the-sea holiday?
do I still dare hope to be given the chance to wake up in the middle of the night for feeds and diaper changes? (do miracles happen at 45??)
do I want to make some wise financial investments this coming year so that a real nest egg could be built for that day when I am officially 'retired'?
do I want to rekindle a once flaming passion for things that are eternal and not temporal?
do I want to be able to walk into a branded boutique someday and walk out with a few thousand ringgit purchase without batting an eyelid?
have closer family ties?
make new friends and rekindle old ones?
battle old fears and overcome to do the 101 other desires in my heart?

Why, of course to every one of them! Yeah, I've got some ideas of what I want to do in 2008. You know the old saying....... "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

The Bkworms would like to wish all of you a very Happy New Year 2008 and may you find the courage to do the things you've always wanted to do and the determination to see your dreams come true, never mind that it may take you more than a year to see it to fruition.

Let me leave you with a word of 'wisdom' that Little Bkworm said to me two days ago as we were window shopping at the Pavilion. "You gotta look expensive to be expensive".

A parallel..... If you think you are, you already are.

Here's to a glorious year ahead!!

Bits and Pieces Before The Year Ends

2007-12-30T09:13:00.000+08:00

Uh-oh! The year's almost coming to a close and I still have a couple of pictures and a few more stories to tell. *panics* Let me try to fit in a few this lovely Sunday morning.......

Know a new place to have a quick and delicious (AND cheap) meal?

Waroeng Penyet located at the 1st floor of the Curve sells Indonesian style flattened fried chicken. I am not really a fan of fried chicken (KFC included) but after eating at this Waroeng (thanks to Masak-Masak's blog entry on this place), I have returned time and again to have my meals here.

The meat's not too hard nor dry and I love the special crunchy batter that is served together with the piece of flattened chicken. Again, I am no good with words when it comes to food. I only know how to eat. LOL!!

Ayam Penyet

Some other choices - Grilled Chicken, Sour Vegetable Soup, Grilled Fish

If you like Penang styled Nyonya cuisine, Molly's Place is a good choice for a simple meal. It's tucked away among some shophouses in Damansara Kim but I believe it has quite a strong following; many of their patrons are most probably regulars, judging from the light bantering between the proprietress and her customers when we were there the last time.

I didn't know much about Nyonya cuisine until I married Papa Bkworm. His paternal grandma was part Nyonya, so he literally grew up eating foods like Ju Hu Char (shredded turnip, carrots and cuttlefish cooked in soya sauce and to be eaten wrapped with lettuce leaves) , Perut Ikan, Inche Kabin and the likes. When I first heard of Perut Ikan which translated to mean fish stomach, I felt icky thinking about it until I actually tasted it the first time. I have been so hooked on it ever since.

Some pictures.....

Molly's Place,40 Jalan SS20/10,Damansara Kim
Petaling Jaya,Tel: 016-3373384
Business Hours: Daily, 11am to 10pm. Closed on Mondays.

Okay, let's see what else do I have in my picture folder to share?? Hmm....*still rummaging*

A couple of entries ago, I said that I have been going to this new Starbucks at The Gardens, Midvalley because it's a much quieter outlet. Nice place, still. But I found a nicer one when Borders opened at the Gardens too. As in the other two Borders bookstore at Berjaya Times Square and the Curve, this one also has a Starbucks Coffee located somewhere inside the bookstore. Read a book, have a sip of coffee (tea for me) and blog......while watching the horrendous traffic condition below!

Quite a common sight on weekends and on public holidays!

These school holidays have sped by like a runaway train. Six weeks and we are at the very tail end of it. Three more days and it's back to school for Little Bkworm and she will begin the next phase of her life in secondary school. As I had to work, we didn't go out as much as in previous school holidays. Instead, she spent a lot of her time at home and sometimes even followed me to the office. My boss didn't mind her sitting in the office while she waited for me to finish work in the afternoon, so that was a real blessing for me.

Little Bkworm lived up to her name these six weeks by 'devouring' between 15 to 20 titles, mainly romance novels for young adults. We bought some for her; the rest, she read while we were at Borders or MPH when we spent our weekend afternoons at these places. Initially, I was worried that she may be so influenced by what she's reading that she may not be able to differentiate between love in the real world and one that is of the author's imagination. I mean, is she really old enough for romance fiction? I was still into Enid Blyton books when I was at her age and didn't read my first Mills & Boons novel until I was almost in my mid-teens! When I asked her if she really believes that love is about being lovey-dovey all the time and that french kissing and sex is not for someone her age (while giving her more of the mother-daughter-birds-and-bees-talk), she gave me that all time favourite answer, "Ma, I am not a baby anymore. It's only fiction and I know what is right and what is wrong, okay?"

My baby is growing up so fast, isn't she?

Lying Low This Christmas

2007-12-25T18:30:00.000+08:00

I celebrated my first Christmas thirty years ago. My first carol was Silent Night. I remember lying on my bed on Christmas eve and looking out my bedroom window into the dark night. And I sang this carol, awed in my limited understanding that the Child mentioned in that song is the Son of God, sent into this world to save it. To me, that was my reason for celebrating Christmas.

In the corner of my bedroom then, stood a branch of fir tree which I had plucked from my mother’s garden. I painted the branch green and draped some cotton wool on it to make it look like a snow covered Christmas tree. And placed at the bottom of that tree was my first Christmas card. The card depicted the picture of a star shining brightly in the night sky. Splashed across the front of the card was the word ‘Peace’. Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.

I am getting a tad too soppy here, am I not?

Two weeks ago, I was contemplating whether to go full steam for Christmas as I had done for previous years; the whole works – putting up the tree, dressing it and making sure that there would be presents enough for everyone in the family and friends alike. Throw a merry little dinner for my close friends and maybe order another tray of RM99-00 (*faints*) bread and butter pudding from Cocomo downstairs. I drew up my list, checked it twice and sat on it for two weeks before I decided that this year, the family will have a quiet Christmas. No tree, no gifts, no roasted turkey. Okay, just gifts for three little boys. I shouldn’t deprive them of the pleasure of tearing open the colorful wrappings and being delighted by the 'treasure' within WHILE still allowing me the thrill of seeing the joy that would flood their little faces when that happens.

When my boss announced that the office will be closed for two weeks, I was tempted to ‘just do it’. I was about to lug a new and taller Christmas tree home from Ikea and was wondering whether I should do a take-out Christmas dinner or burn down my kitchen preparing one. In the end, I stuck to my guns and enjoyed a very low key affair with my Bkworms at home.

It was not all that bad. A stream of Christmas cards arrived at our post box throughout the month, some from friends whom I haven’t heard from for a while. I received a card from my ex-boss who retired some years ago and also, many thanks to Frances and May for your season greetings which really brightened my day. You have no idea how much. And Little Bkworm must have been a good little girl because Santa ‘brought’ her a few gifts too. Books to read and some other girly stuff kept her busy throughout today!

Maybe next year that tree from Ikea will come home with me. But for this year, I am just thankful for His little surprises even as I refused to be drawn into the 'normal' Christmas activities this time of the year.

To my friends and loyal readers out there, here’s wishing you and your loved ones, a blessed Christmas and may the love of God illuminates your hearts as you prepare to step into the coming new year.

Spreading My Wings A Little Bit More

2007-12-19T12:17:00.000+08:00

I discovered Facebook a few months ago when Yan emailed me an invitation to join this social networking site.

It took me a while to get the hang of it and it was fun to find friends whom I haven’t seen for years through this platform. Just the other day, I found an old classmate’s younger brother whom I haven’t seen since 1990 when I was on holiday in Melbourne. He’s now married and working in Germany. Talk about the world getting smaller!

But what intrigued me the most is being able to connect with friends in a more casual manner. You can poke, give a beer, throw a sheep, hug, send a gift or play a game of Scrabbles together, all in a virtual sense. No need to write long letters or emails, no need to worry if the friend will reject you or be embarrassed by your ‘hugs’ or kisses. I mean, how many people can one dry hump, if not done virtually and in the name of fun??

I value the privacy that Facebook gives because it allows its users to set individual privacy settings, meaning you can choose whom you allow to view the contents of your page. I can post photos, videos and update my friends about my going-ons. A great way to stay in touch without losing your own space.

There is one rather odd thing, though. You can be the best of buddies online; giving and receiving virtual gifts, sharing videos and buying rounds of drinks for one another but it is not mentioned when we actually meet face to face. It’s like being on a different planet. I suppose socialising online allows one a measure of liberty to do things we normally won’t do on a normal setting.

Whatever it is, I am still enjoying this part of my social life as much as I still enjoy blogging.

And since I am not working these next ten days (office is already closed for the year), I will have more time to indulge in these two loves, next to spending time with Little Bkworm (of course) who will be back to school again in two weeks’ time.

Right after posting this entry, I’m going to log into Facebook and check out the action there!

See ya!

An Evening With PCK

2007-12-12T17:42:00.000+08:00

Last night I spent an evening with PCK.

Who?

Phua Chu Kang lah!

What I meant to say was, I spent an evening at a party where PCK was performing. For the uninitiated, Phua Chu Kang is the loud mouthed contractor who dons yellow work boots and proclaims to be the best in Singapore, JB and some say in Kuala Lumpur! I am not a big fan of the sitcom but he can draw more than a few laughs with his antics.

Anyway, the event that I attended yesterday was called ‘An Evening With Phua Chu Kang’. It was held at the Grand Ballroom of the Sunway Resort and Spa…..and an opportunity for me to put on my little (ok, not so little) black dress again. I hadn’t really expected to be included since I am so new in the company but my boss wanted me and my other colleague to be in the know of the plans that the company was going to announce at the function that night.

Registration began at 5.30 pm and buffet dinner was served at the foyer almost immediately. We (colleague and I – no spouses included) arrived at the hotel, were directed to Level 10 where we mingled a little while holding on to our plates of food. It was a stand and eat affair. Try negotiating a plate of food while standing on high heels looking dainty (or at least, trying to look dainty) and being offered a glass of orange juice at the same time. Very uncomfortable feat after an hour of doing that!

At about 7 pm, the doors to the ballroom at Level 15 swung open and everyone rushed in to get a good seat. Sue, Ernie and I got seats that were like a mile away from the stage but beggars can't be choosers, so we just sat back to enjoy the rest of the evening. A fashion show followed and then the company's CEO came on stage to give her speech. Blah....blah...blah...you know, the usual how-well-the-company-has-done-this-year thingy. Another chap came up to talk some more before PCK made his grand entrance.

Was he as funny as he was on screen? Well, he had us all in stitches from the word go and it was roaring laughter first followed by adoration as he sang a few songs, enchanting everyone with a soulful rendition of Ronan Keating's When You Say Nothing At All. He had all the girls eating out of his hands with that one. It was very touching when he thanked everyone for supporting him, without which he would not have such a good career to provide for his family. He then sang 'Stand By Me' and dedicated it to the audience.

After the lucky draws were made (no luck for me, unfortunately), the crowd began to disperse. Some went out to the foyer to get their beers while many others began to leave for home. The younger and more 'gila' ones were left dancing the rest of the night away. If Papa Bkworm had been with me, I would have loved to boogie on with them. Haha, years ago whenever I went for functions such as these, I would be the first on the dance floor and the marathon dancing would go on until the band packed up to leave a few hours later!

I was back home before 11 pm.

And back to work by 8.30 the next morning. Yawn!!

A Christmas Dilemma

2007-12-08T15:04:00.000+08:00

I think I know why they play Christmas carols in shopping malls. It's to sway people like me who has resolved to spend less each year end but would inevitably succumb to the temptation of buying, wrapping and giving by the time I walk out of the store's doors!

I am doing it again. I told Papa Bkworm that this year we will not allow commercialisation to creep into our Christmas. It will be a super low key one. No tree, no gifts. Just a quiet contemplation of the real reason behind the season. But.....

Sometimes I think we tend to mix up the coming together of families, the year end celebration, tinsel, mistletoe and all, with what Christmas really is. As Christians, we celebrate God's greatest gift to mankind, His Son born into the world to save it. So we give gifts to one another to remind ourselves and each other of the Gift from above. But if the buying of gifts becomes an opportunity to ask or wish for expensive material things, then I wonder where Christ fits into all this. The parties and the drinking. The splurging and running into debt. The buying sprees. I wonder.

I remember there was one year when I was basking in my then new found singlehood and spent one Christmas eve in a disco. At the stroke of midnight, revellers wished each other Merry Christmas while scantily clad girls with barely there knickers (calling themselves Santarinas) were clamouring over a semi nude young man, save for his false Santa beard and red Santa hat. Before you turn blue from reading about the once naughtiness of Bkworm, that's just a glimpse of my sordid past for you.

In the last few years, I have enjoyed gathering friends and family at Christmas and seeing their faces light up in delight when they received gifts I have specially chosen for each of them. I love doing that. I love that feeling of togetherness. Everyone gathering around the dining table, having a meal, sharing stories and laughing with each other. Christmas carols playing in the background and the lights from the Christmas tree illuminating more than just the corner where the tree stands; illuminating our hearts as we enjoy each other's company.

But this year, I am not so sure. Papa Bkworm's not too keen either. I haven't drawn up any lists nor have I made any plans. With the exception of my three little nephews from Papa Bkworm's side of the family, I have not shopped for anybody else. I still want to give those little boys something from Aunt Bkworm without burning a hole in my pocket. It's a maternal thingy, I guess.

I go through this 'dilemma' every year. Another 16 days for me to find some direction in this. Or maybe just do it.

You'll know soon enough.

Stressing and it's not PMS

2007-12-04T15:34:00.000+08:00

These last two days have been tough. The reason? My other colleague went on leave. I know it's no big deal - after all, haven't I been subjected to such a situation time and again in my previous 20 odd years in the banking industry? Yes, go ahead and laugh at me for being such a baby. But after a few years of being laid back and life's a beach those few years....hmm....suddenly being thrown into two days of work frenzy can be quite daunting.

Ok, it wasn't that bad. I think it was just me being overly obsessive and perfectionist to want to do everything at the same time and to do them properly. I think this gets worse with age. I just can't bear the thought of seeing a piece of work, uncompleted, sitting in the tray at the end of my working day. No carrying over to the next day. Terrible, yah?

And when my boss is as meticulous as I am obsessive, you can imagine the adrenaline coursing through my entire body when she calls my name from her room and I spring up, knowing that she's going to want something yesterday! Instinctively, I want to do it right even before she tells me what she wants me to do. Is that crazy or what??

"Chill, Mum', Little Bkworm would say.

Last night, as I was preparing for bed while my mind was already running through today's schedule, I received an SMS which was work related. I turned to Papa Bkworm and asked him how come a 'kuli' (labourer) like me also get such messages/calls on my off-time since I am now no where near the top of the career ladder (according to a CEO of a local bank, the higher you go, the more accessible you must be!).

And his wise reply? "PA's are always at the beck and call of their bosses. So what did you expect?!"

Before I closed my eyes to sleep, the last thing I remembered was going through my to-do list for today. And dreamt of it too!

My colleague is scheduled to return to work tomorrow. Maybe I will sleep better tonight, eh?

Keeping In Touch

2007-12-01T14:46:00.000+08:00

Life's bliss when I sit with Papa Bkworm on my left and Little Bkworm on my right, on comfy sofas at the corner of Starbucks, listening to Christmas carols being played instore. Yeah, a simple thing like this makes me happy.....even if Papa Bkworm and Little Bkworm are fast asleep on their sofas. LOL!! That's the reason why we chose the corner seats. *winks*

Since the Gardens opened, we have found this Starbucks tucked away in the corner of the 2nd floor. It's not as crowded as the one at Midvalley Megamall and less noisy too.

I read my mails, catch up on my blog reading (which is SO behind!) and update my Facebook (which I am SO addicted to!). Though I am normally back home by 3 pm on weekdays, I would be very tired out by then. Work is both easy but hectic at the same time, so by the time I reach home, I just want to assume my favourite position on the sofa and nap. But of course, there is the housework that still belongs to the woman of the house (that's me, sigh!) which means that any cleaning and washing have to be done in those hours before I prepare for dinner. By the time my day ends, I really have little energy to switch on the PC and blog. Hence, the recent long silence.

But once a blogger, always a blogger. Die-die also must blog. And keep in touch with the few friends I have made online. You know you keep me going when you leave simple comments to enquire about me and that touches me greatly.

So here on a Saturday afternoon, I drop a few lines to stay in touch. Like always.

Bkworms at the buffet....again!

2007-11-30T16:53:00.000+08:00

We checked out this place for dinner last weekend and it was like going back to the Virgo. Not the luxury but the endless supply of food; in this case, it's buffet steamboat .

The crowd was unbelievable. Luckily we made a reservation earlier and got a table right next to the food!

All kinds of everything.....

If the seafood's not enough, they also serve fried rice, fried noodles and an assortment of nyonya kuih to satisfy the palate.

This was the most interesting part of the evening. See those people crowding around something?

This tray of food was replenished almost every ten minutes and the tray would be emptied within seconds after that. The rush for this tray is unbelievable. It's like rushing for gold or something. May the strongest and fittest win! Know what was the star attraction?

It's their signature dish - barbeque chicken wings!!

We ate so much that we had to stack the used plates on the floor because there just wasn't enough place on the table. We finished off with some watermelon and ice-cream (which is all part of the buffet price).

In case you are a fan of steamboat, do go and give Yuen Buffet Steamboat a try. They are really popular; when we left the restaurant full and satisfied two hours later, there were more than 20 people waiting in queue outside the restaurant. Better call in to make your reservations and always go early to avoid all the jostling while choosing your favourite seafood, yah!

The address:

Restoran Yuen Buffet Steamboat
32A-1 Jalan PJS 8/6, Mentari Plaza (the shophouses opposite Sunway Pyramid)
Bandar Sunway, 46150 Petaling Jaya
Tel : 03-5637 5825
H/P : 016-2086678
Look for Mrs. Susie Teh

The price : RM18-80 per person

Starting the School Holidays with a Cruise Holiday

2007-11-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

I wasn't aware that time has flown by so quickly until Fishtail messaged me today to ask if I had gone on a blog holiday since my last post was on November 10! But he should have known better than to ask me that. You'll see why in a while.

What better reason to be absent from blogosphere than to be away on vacation. The Bkworms were away on the Superstar Virgo for four wonderful days!

The food was glorious and the company, excellent. This time, Papa Bkworm's parents as well as Lara and her son (my 15-year old nephew, JD) came along and you would never have guessed who else was part of the entourage - he loves Chinese food and dim sum with tik koon yam. It's Fishtail, of course! Fellow member of the crazy-about-cruising-club!

This is my seventh cruise. I know it sounds crazy but I never get tired of it. The endless eating at the buffet table is an attraction but nothing compares to having the sea breeze blowing my face and watching the vast expanse of water stretching miles and miles all around me. And when you are standing at the deck watching the sun set or catching the sun rise at dawn, it's an awesome feeling. I've blogged about the cruising experience before here and here, so I shan't go into details again in this entry.

There is a small difference this time, though because my dad had company in the form of Fishtail who shared a cabin with him together with JD. It was a free and easy cruise, so all nine of us went about doing our own things and even dined in smaller groups, depending on where our appetites took us - Chinese cuisine for my dad and Fishtail whereas the rest of us preferred 'ang moh' food.

But what was more important to me was not just being on holiday but being able to spend time with my father. Seeing him enjoy the cruise is reason enough for us to bring him along with us each time we have the opportunity to go for a cruise. My dad may have just turned 83 a few weeks ago but he always berates us for treating him like an invalid. He insisted on going about the 13-deck ship by himself and there were more than a few times where we found him enjoying afternoon tea with his two grandchildren while the rest of us were just finding our way to the Mediterranean Terrace to look for some food in the middle of the afternoon! Of course, we were worried about him and for him - an elderly man wandering alone, aboard a huge ship like the Virgo. And he did gave us a scare the first hour after we checked in.

I think he was excited to be on board the ship again and coupled with the fact that there was now another chap on board with him who enjoys Chinese cuisine, he happily waved us away when we tried to show him the way to the Pavilion Room, one of Virgo's two Chinese restaurants.

"I won't get lost, don't you worry-lah! Fishtail is there, mah!".

Twenty minutes later as the rest of us were about to settle down to the lovely spread of food on our plates at the Mediterranean Buffet, Fishtail walked over to join us. He had no idea that my dad had gone to look for him. I panicked and tried to call Dad on his mobile but network coverage was at its minimum once we boarded the ship and I kept getting an out of coverage area message. I paced up and down the restaurant, frantic with worry. After numerous tries, I managed to call him and he told me that he went back to the cabin because he couldn't find the Pavilion Restaurant. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he finally came up to Deck 12 where the Mediterranean Buffet Restaurant was and joined us for a very late breakfast. Fishtail constantly assures me that Dad is a very resourceful man but still.......

On our last day of the cruise, as we were making our way towards the exit point of the ship, my dad took a long look at the plush carpeting along the corridors leading to the deck and he said to me, "I may not be coming on another cruise like this again". I waved away his remark and told him that, of course, there will be another one, maybe, next year. But in my heart, I, too, am afraid.

I saw my dad happy when he sailed on the Virgo together with us for the first time in November 2004. Like a child with a lolly and let loose on the playground, he would be excited at each activity that we had planned on the ship. And for months after that, he couldn't stop talking about the big ship and all the wonderful things he discovered cruising for the first time. But this time around, he seemed more tired and distracted. He didn't come out to see the ship leave the port and he skipped the trip to Kuah Town when the ship arrived in Langkawi. He also missed the musical performance after the Captain Gala's Dinner; all these activities which he partook with great enthusiasm the first time.

I don't think he was bored. I know he missed Mum still and he always talks about wanting to join her. I know that he's tired, not only physically but emotionally, none of us can fill the void that Mum left when she passed away. Going away for this cruise was to take him away from the four walls at home, at least, momentarily surround him with laughter and warmth of family as much as we can, for as long as we can.

As for me, I shall always miss the smell of the sea, the touch of the breeze and the luxury of not having to cook and still have plenty to eat anyway!

The last I heard, the Royal Caribbean will be plying these waters in the very near future. Hmmmm.........

Isn't there a better way of saying it?

2007-11-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

My passport expired last year and since I didn't have any need to use it then, I didn't bother to have it renewed. The truth is I hate having passport sized pictures taken. I'm no natural beauty and there's always this dilemma whether to smile or not to smile for this kind of picture. I just don't like the idea of seeing an unflattering image of me being stuck in my passport for the next five years!

Anyway, recently, I went to the salon to have my hair washed and blown dry (professionally) before going to the shop to have my picture taken. Want to look nice, mah! The stylist recommended an array of hair treatments for my dried and tired hair (said he), not to mention all the grays that have been popping all over the top of my head like a field of waving buttercups. I politely declined (though secretly wishing that I could afford to fork out a few hundred ringgit to get these unmanageable tresses straightened like I used to. Sigh!) and asked him if there are any others ways that the fringe could be cut to 'manage' the twirls that are getting SO out of control. I stupidly mentioned that a few years ago, some other stylist had managed to cut my fringe in such a way that it fell nicely over my forehead without it twisting about like it does now. Guess what he said??

"You know, our hormones change as we age and what worked then will not work now!" I didn't quite like the way he stressed on the word 'age'. It's either he was telling the truth or he was just pissed that I had talked about what my previous hairstylist had done.

Isn't the greying hair, aches and pains, declining eyesight and failing memory reminder enough of advancing years without having to be reminded (yet again) while having my hair done?

The truth hurts, you know.

Hypocrite or Hippogriff

2007-11-09T15:02:00.000+08:00

We were walking back to the apartment yesterday when Little Bkworm asked me......

Little Bkworm : Mum, what does it mean to be sarcastic?

Bkworm : Err...(tries to explain)

Little Bkworm : What if someone doesn't like a dress her friend is wearing but still goes ahead and tells her that the dress is a pretty one? Is that sarcasm?

Bkworm : No, that would be a lie or being a hypocrite.

Little Bkworm : Haha! Don't bluff me. That's the name of one of Hagrid's creatures in Harry Potter.

Mama Bkworm : (paused for a while to think)....No, my dear, that's not 'hypocrite'. That's a Hippogriff!

Little Bkworm punches her mother playfully on her arm and said in her usual Little Bkworm manner, 'Oh, ya, hor!'

Yeah, that was one of our little mother and daughter daily conversations.

A Tag of Many Questions

2007-11-03T21:31:00.000+08:00

Two tags in two days from two lovely ladies. This one is from Primrose.

Name one person who made you laugh last night?
Does watching a comedy on DVD count?

What were you doing at 0800?
8am: Just getting out of bed. It's the weekend. Yay!
8pm: Shopping at Jaya Jusco.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
I was putting away the groceries and can't wait to get into the shower.

What happened to you in 2006?
Too many things to put in one line.

What was the last thing you said out loud?
Can someone go and switch off the kitchen lights?!

How many beverages did you have today?
Mango juice for breakfast, English Breakfast tea for lunch and green tea for dinner. And lots of plain water in between.

What color is your hairbrush?
I've got two. One is pink, the other one is peach.

What was the last thing you paid for?
This month's Her World Magazine - all because they were giving away a free tote bag!

Where were you last night?
Blogging with my laptop at home while watching TV at the same time.

What color is your front door?
The grill door is a boring gray and the wooden door is white on the outside and dark brown on the inside. Very cheery from the outside but easily dirty too.

Where do you keep your change?
My Thomas And Friends coin purse. Old but hardy. Good for heavy coins.

What's the weather like today?
Fairly cool in the morning, rained heavily in the afternoon and was cool for the rest of the evening.

What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Ooh....it must be Haagen Dazs' Macadamia Nut Brittle and Baskin Robbins' Peanut Butter 'n' Chocolate. I must go and get some tomorrow!!

What excites you?
Shopping with a wallet full of money.

Do you want to cut your hair?
Not in the near future.

Are you over the age of 25?
With a 21-year old son, what do you think?? LOL!!

Do you talk a lot?
It depends on what is the topic and the kind of company I am with.

Do you watch the O.C.?
Nope. Too 'young' for me.

Do you know anyone named Steven?
Steven, the secret admirer, Steven, the pastor and errr.... I am sure there's one more but I can't recall....not just yet.

Do you make up your own words?
Can't think of any at the moment.

Are you a jealous person?
I would be lying if I say I am not.

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Anjalai

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
Katie

Who's the first person on your received call list?
Papa Bkworm

What does the last text message you received say?
Newsflash from Reuters - Indonesian volcano Kelud erupts.

Do you chew on your straw?
Only when I am nervous or worried.

Do you have curly hair?
Natural curls are in my genes.

Where's the next place you’re going to?
The kitchen to get something to munch.

Who's the rudest person in your life?
You wouldn't want to know. *disgusted just thinking about it!*

What was the last thing you ate?
Tom yam soup with rice.

Will you get married in the future?
Am already married to my soulmate.

What's the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
Bourne Ultimatum. Fast paced and Matt Damon's not bad looking either.

Is there anyone you like right now?
If I say Ken Watanabe, Papa Bkworm, if you are reading this (and I know you are!), you won't be jealous, right?.....because he's only a picture on a billboard.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
Last night after dinner.

Are you currently depressed?
Not really depressed but may lapse into one if something that I've been looking forward to, doesn't happen soon. *sob, sob*

Did you cry today?
So far so good. *grins*

Why did you answer and post this?
1) Primrose tagged me.
2) I always do my tags.
3) Excuse to blog!

Tag 5 people who would do this tag.

Do I have to??

Make A Wish

2007-11-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

Back To Basics tagged me some time ago but I never got around to doing it...(excuses, excuses, I know!). So while waiting for the water to boil (this is multi-tasking to make time, hehe), let's get on with the tag. Here goes.....

***Start Copying Here***
Rules:
1. Write a short paragraph about your visit by the two Genies and include a link to the blog that passed on the Genie Symbol to you.
2. COPY the Rules and ENTIRE List below and post it on your blog.
3. List down your wish.
4. Place your name below the last name on the list and pass on the Genie Symbol to at least 5 other bloggers.
5. Please put up either one (or both) of the Symbols of the Genies on your blog to show that the Genies have visited your blog:

Genie Princess

Genie King

The Genie King, the Genie Princess and their trusty Genie Buddy have visited:
Mariuca would like to wish for happiness and success.
Adrian would like to wish for good health and happiness.
Emila would like to wish for happiness and success.
Trinity would like to wish good health for Jan’s brother and Yah and Wan and success.
MPG would like to wish for love and peace.
Jean would like to wish for stress free work environment and happiness.
Cbenc12 would like to wish for health, happiness and luck for my family and friends and me too!
Paris Beaverbanks would like to wish for more publicity! Hooyah! (taps swollen head)
Giddy Tiger would like to wish for longer weekends and never-ending holidays!
Shooi would like to wish for peace on earth, love, good health and happiness.
Chinnee would like to wish for happiness and good health forever!
Hui Sia would like to wish for love, health, wealth and happiness.
Chew Lee would like to wish hubby for a successful business venture in Singapore.
Anggie would like to wish for dream and wish come true.
Slavemom would like to wish for happiness and good health for her loved ones (and of coz for herself too!)
Everyday Healy would like to wish for family happiness. ( A total stress free life for everyone in my family) :)
Nomadic Mom would like to wish for a happy, healthy and comfortable life for all loved ones!
BP would like to wish for the evacuees of the California wildfires, including Firehorse and her family, to be safe and doing OK, and be able to go back to their homes soon, or get all the help they need for a new roof over their heads.
Bkworm would like to wish for wisdom for her children that they may always make the right decisions for themselves in life.

Welcome aboard the Magical Flying Carpet for the Ride of your Life! Alakazam!

*** End Copying Here ***

I am supposed to tag five other people but this tag has been going around for some time so I'll pass. If you are reading this, count yourself tagged!

Great weekend, y'all!

A Night In Genting With The Black Eyed Peas

2007-11-01T20:58:00.000+08:00

When Papa Bkworm was booking the tickets to the Black Eyed Peas (BEP) concert through the net more than a month ago, I wasn't the least interested. I thought of the 45 minute drive to Genting Highlands and wondered if I will survive it!

But if you would have seen me that night of the concert, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the pre-teen Little Bkworm and her mother (from the back, of course) who, with their hands in the air, were waving and singing along at their top of their voices. If I didn't know any better, I'd bet that Little Bkworm was cringing under her skin and if she wasn't enjoying herself so much, she would have shushed me and asked me to sit down and behave like any normal mother would. LOL!!

Who could sit still when the whole auditorium went wild with delight as the Black Eyed Peas belted out hit after hit, including Will.i.am's latest hit "I Got It From My Mama"? Anyway, I've jumped the gun a bit. Let's start from the very beginning....

Friends and family assumed that we were going up to Genting Highlands for the weekend to pay our last respects to Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong (fondly known as Uncle Lim to many), the founder of the Genting Group who passed away on October 23, 2007 at the grand old age of 90. It did cross our minds but since Papa Bkworm would be attending the funeral the following Monday, we didn’t stop on our way up to the hill resort.

The weather was nice and cool when we arrived in the evening.

The reception area of the First World Hotel was crowded. Men and women …and children were milling around waiting for their number to be called for check-in. We even had to queue up to get a number to queue up!

It has been more than a few years since our last visit and since then, many new shops have mushroomed in the First World Plaza. It’s like a walk in a mall in KL.

We had a quick dinner and then made our way towards the Arena of Stars where the concert would be held.

We bought tickets for the cheaper seats but since the Arena of Stars was not very big, we were not that far off from the stage. Okay, we can’t exactly see the zit on their faces (if any at all!) but there were big screens on each side of the stage, so we won’t really miss much. Just before the concert started, all of a sudden almost everyone from the side sections started to get up from their seats and moved towards the middle section where it was still relatively empty compared to the rest of the auditorium. We quickly followed suit. We found out much later that those seats in the middle section were the next most expensive. Since they were not filled, the organizers allowed the rest to occupy those seats. I think that would make the auditorium look more filled up and therefore a better crowd to welcome the BEP. Bet you that was what the organisers were thinking too. And lucky for us, we got a better view at a cheaper price!

I wasn’t expecting the concert to start on time. With a probable opening act and with such a big name performing that night, I thought there would be a delay of at least an hour. To my surprise, half an hour after we were seated, the light suddenly dimmed and the Black Eyed Peas came on stage. No opening act. Goody good!

Woweee, and what a show it was! They sang songs like 'My Humps', 'Shut Up', 'Bebot', 'Gone Going', Fergie's 'Big Girls Don't Cry', 'Fergalicious', 'London Bridge' and some of their other hits. My personal favourite is 'Where Is The Love'. The song is so meaningful. You can click here for the lyrics.

Fergie has such a powerful voice and one can feel the energy of the group emanating from the stage as the four of them sang and danced around. At first, the crowd was pretty tame. Yeah, some sang along and there were clapping of hands but it was only at the encore, that the crowd went wild. People started to rise from the seats and the clapping and singing became louder and louder. One can’t help but be moved along by the euphoria that was sweeping across the entire auditorium. The atmosphere was awesome and camera flashes were seen everywhere. As luck would have it, our camera ‘died’ on us just before the concert started. No amount of cajoling and changing of batteries could make it start up again. Initially we tried to take some pictures and videos with our mobile phones but the quality was so poor, we gave up in the end. Here are some of those ‘poor quality’ shots …..

The next morning we had breakfast at Coffee Bean, (aiyah, where else did you think Bkworm would have her breakfast? LOL!!) and the rest of the day was spent at the indoor theme park, bowling alley and the amusement arcade before we came back to KL (and reality) before nightfall.

It was so nice to be able to spend some time away from the city and leave the cares behind, even if it’s just for the weekend.

Who would have believed that I would turn into a Black Eyed Peas fan overnight. Not me, certainly! *wink*

What I Did Last Friday

2007-10-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

The Bkworms had a fabulous time up in Genting Highlands!

Details and more pictures later, yah!

Passion

2007-10-25T20:16:00.000+08:00

I thought my breakfast dates ended when I started working again. But what a delight it was for me this morning when I met up with a blogger friend for the first time and had breakfast together before I started work at 9 am! Ahh....teh-o-kosong tastes better when you don't have to drink it alone.

We exchanged stories and experiences about writing and it was truly an enlightening experience. Which brings me to this topic of passion. Not lustful passion but an ‘extravagant’ fondness, enthusiam or desire for anything.’ Like for writing, for example.

A mother’s passion for her children. A pet lover’s passion for her dogs. An activist's passion for his cause. And so many more. Their passion is mirrored in their writings and reverberates through their words. You feel excited, touched by their excitement. I wish I had the same passion. Hmm....I think I do have an intense liking for doughnuts judging from those mouth watering pictures I have been posting lately, eh? *wink* Does that count as passion? Bad Bkworm.

Back to the subject of writing, when you are passionate about a subject or an object, it shows. It’s like being in love. You just want to spend your time with who you love, doing what you love and your entire focus is centered on that one ‘love’. You want to talk about it, shout it out to the world and no matter how time consuming or how much energy is used, there’s always more supply somewhere in the core of one’s being to go on.

There are times when I get so driven by the ideas running through my head, I can’t type fast enough for the words to appear on the screen of the PC. It’s like turning on the faucet and the words just flow. What a fantastic feeling!! One thing I know, I can’t run on empty. The more I read, I more I want to write. The more I interact, the more ideas come gushing out. But let me rest on my laurels, take a break from the ‘fuel’ of reading and interacting with people who are like minded, I get lazy. I stop thinking, And then each word has to be dragged out from within like a bad tooth that refused to be extracted.

It’s good that I met this friend today. A kick in the butt to get things moving again.

If you blog, you are a writer too. Have you ever felt this way before?

Why, Oh, Why?

2007-10-24T21:26:00.000+08:00

I've read all of J.K. Rowling's famous Harry Potter books and I have come to love the key characters of that series - Harry and his two close friends and the dedicated teachers of Hogwarts. It is not because they are wizards and witches that can cast spells and make magic but the imagery that the author has weaved throughout the story. It brings me back to my childhood days when my young mind really believed in the existence of fairies and elves and I would go looking for them in my own garden! Youthful escapism there.

So can you imagine how disappointed I was when J.K. Rowling revealed recently that Albus Dumbledore is gay? It's not that he is supposedly gay that irks me but that he is a fictional character of a children's book! How does one explain to a child (Harry Potter is listed as Children's Fiction!) that this much revered headmaster who is a figure of authority in the story is gay? What is gay? Are we getting so open minded in this day and age that is it okay to start them so young? Surely there is a place and a time for issues such as these; as an adult, when one can fully understand and choose the way one wishes to live and the responsibilities that come with those choices.

I don't mean to 'closet' my kids or kids in general (not that they are not exposed already through both media and peer influence) but the world is wicked enough as it is without having to take away whatever little of innocence left before they journey into adulthood.

This is a mother's point of view. Maybe it's only my point of view. She just spoilt it all for me, that's all.

Disclaimer:This blogger does not advocate homosexuality but neither does she condemns those who practice it because she believes that everyone is responsible for their own actions and accountable to God in the end for the manner which they live their life here on earth.

What a 'man'!

2007-10-23T21:03:00.000+08:00

I first saw him in the movie, The Last Samurai. And then, again in Memoirs of A Geisha.

Impressed? Kind of.

But it wasn't until I saw this poster plastered on a huge billboard along the Sprint Highway, that I really took notice.

Ken Watanabe in a Gap advertisement

Isn't he 'man'? Woot!! (naughty Bkworm)

Coffee Lovers Too?

2007-10-22T19:55:00.000+08:00

I LOVE this one.......

What do you think was going on?

Let those creative juices flow!

Sugar Rush @ Big Apple Donuts

2007-10-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

Let me state for the record here that I have never been a doughnut fan. Yes, I do buy the obligatory one or two from Dunkin' Donuts and maybe a huge sugary one from Starbucks to get that sugary high once in a blue moon but it wasn't until I took a bite of Big Apple's doughnuts that I believe that I am now, well and truly, addicted.

Their doughnuts are simply fluffy and light. And trust me, I've seen them cut out the shape of the doughnut from the dough and weigh it on a mini scale first before sending it off to the oven!

People buy them by the dozens. Serious. They order the different flavours in twos and threes and then pay for a stack of boxes filled with six or a dozen doughnuts in each of those boxes. RM9.50 for six, RM17.00 for a dozen. If you buy one, it's RM2.00 a piece. I AM telling you the truth here.

I was queueing up at Big Apple Donuts & Coffee AGAIN yesterday evening. You can almost feel the electric charge in the air as the workers go about their respective tasks, churning out doughnuts like clockwork just behind the counter. And the buzz of conversation from the waiting line of customers only add to the 'sugar rush' that hits one in the face while visually feasting on the trays of doughnuts waiting to be bought. Different colors, different flavours. Brown, white, green, yellow with dollops of various colored cream atop each one. Exotic names - Whitnut, Choreo, Hot Berry, Snowy, Cocoring, Mango Tango, just to name a few. But the truly wicked one is the one stuffed with durian filling. It is my absolute favourite!

Recognise the 'thorns'?Choreo - Little Bkworm's must-haveWhitnut with peanut butter filling. I can still taste it in my mouth as I blog....California Almond .... did I say that I am an almond fan??

Chocoholic for donutholics! LOL!!

And those were only some of the choices available. Want to get some?

Big Apple Donuts and Coffee
Lot G72A, Ground Floor, The Street, Western Courtyard
The Curve, Mutiara Damansara
Petaling Jaya

Somebody help me, please!!! I think I have been doughnut-fied!

The New Pavilion

2007-10-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

Remember the old Cathay cinema at the end of Jalan Bukit Bintang? Separated by the side lane on the left side of the Cathay cinema was the Pavilion cinema which was one of my favourite haunts back in the 70s (sorry, I cheated a bit - posted the Cathay picture because I couldn't find one on the Pavilion!). Cathay was for James Bond and James Coburn movies and Pavilion for Mandarin tear jerkers with the likes of Lin Chin Hsia and Chin Han leaving us teenage girls swooning and crying at the same time.

Fast forward thirty years and the name Pavilion is once again in the limelight. Not the cinema which has long been demolished but a new shopping experience - the newly opened Pavilion shopping mall! (also along Jalan Bukit Bintang but now at the other end)

Wah! ....... that was our expression from beginning to the end.

Wah! so big!

Wah! so many retail (branded names) outlets!

Wah! so many floors!

Wah! so expensive!

Wah, so many people!

We took a lot of pictures.....we could have been mistaken for tourists or simply, country bumpkins who have never walked into a shopping mall before! Let the pictures speak for themselves.....

An external view

The picture on the bottom right is The Loaf, a Japanese style bakery and bistro owned by our very own former Prime Minister, Tun Dr. Mahathir! ...... and see if you can also spot little Bkworm (psst....the young lady in pink)! LOL!!

Inside The Pavilion

BUT the real reason for visiting the mall........
is to see what's all the fuss about over J.CO's famous doughnuts!

Was it worth the long queue (go read Narrowband's experience) and equally long waiting time? I would have said yes if I have not already eaten more than a dozen of the same kind of doughnuts from Big Apple Donuts & Coffee. Masak-Masak has written a piece on Big Apple. Go and salivate over her photos!

Excuse me, but I've got a box of doughnuts from Big Apple waiting to be eaten.

Have a good weekend, y'all!

Happy Birthday

2007-10-16T07:49:00.000+08:00

Today my little boy turns 21.

Happy birthday, son.

Yeah, I know, no more little boy.

Revisiting My Very First Post

2007-10-10T15:41:00.000+08:00

Mumsgather tagged me with this meme where I am to re-post my first blog entry by cutting and pasting it here, so that readers who were not with me then, can read it now.

While clearing my Internet history folder about three years ago, I discovered that my son had a blog. That got me curious and Imagination Is The Key To Freedom was born soon after. My first entry? It's a real short one, folks....

A Wolf not caught!

I have just finished reading James Patterson, Big Bad Wolf and it's a really a big letdown. There's no ending - the Wolf was not caught! Now I remember why I didn't really like James Patterson's books.

How's that for being short and sweet, eh? I was, sort of, penning down my thoughts. Like in a diary, though I have never had the patience to keep one.Friends used to tell me that I should let loose the 'writer' in me. I would write poems and short articles on various life issues and show it to them. I even started on a romance story but alas, the half finished draft's still in my cupboard somewhere! That was as far an audience that I had and boy, did I let it go to my head when they patted me on my back and insisted that I should seriously explore the possibility of being a full time writer. This blog was intended to be a stepping stone towards that goal. I could now write, write and write to my heart's content.

Haha, after having my articles rejected over and over by magazines and newspapers, I think my friends were just being polite. But never mind, I will still write. My pastor's wife used to say that we, women are gifted with the ability to speak five thousand words a day. It's a God-given thing. Since it may be rather difficult to find someone to listen to my five thousand words a day, I just let it all out in my blog. If you have been following my blog, you will know that I write about my family, my interests, my activities, my hopes, my dreams, my fears and now my work too, if it doesn't step on anyone's toes. I am definitely more 'long winded' now. But I'm enjoying every minute of it! LOL!!

I won't pass the tag to anyone because once I get hooked on your blog, you bet I would have rummaged through your archives to see where you came from.

I cannot wait wan. *wink*

Ouch! Rejection hurts

2007-10-06T17:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah, rejection must hurt because I, for one, hate it. It makes one feel small and unworthy. Which is also the reason why I can't do sales.

Picture this....

Bkworm : Hi, my name is Bkworm and I am from Company X. Have you tried our product Y?

Customer : Aiyah, your product no good one. I don't want to buy lah.

Bkworm : Errr.. okay. Never mind then.

See, how do to sales??

I've tried selling Avon, Amway, Cosway, Shaklee, Liqua Health and NuSkin in the last twenty years and I always ended up buying more for myself than actually selling the products!

Yet, I know on the other hand, I have been the 'rejector' (if there's such a word!) many times over. I've been approached by salesman, telemarketeers, insurance agents and even people asking for donations. With the exception of the last one (don't know if their claims are genuine or not), I normally wave them off even before they get past 'hello'. Bad, hor?

Recently, I overheard an insurance agent making calls to her potential clients.

Agent : Good morning, may I speak to Mr. X, please?

Slight pause as the other side respond.

Agent : Good morning, Mr. X, I'm Miss A, from You-Can-Trust-Me-With-Your-Money Company. Is it a convenient time to talk?

Again another pause.

Agent : Oh, I see. In that case, may I call you again later in the evening?

Another pause.

Agent : Oh, all right then. Thank you for your time.

She hangs up, the smile gone from her face as she makes another call.

Agent :Good morning, may I speak to Mr. Y, please?

Slight pause as the other side respond.

Agent : Good morning, Mr. Y, I'm Miss A, from You-Can-Trust-Me-With-Your-Money Company.

Agent : Hello??..... Hello??

(The other side had already hung up the phone!)

She continued to make a few more calls after that, each time not going beyond three sentences. She looked unperturbed at her failure to clinch even one appointment. I salute her for her perseverance!

I suppose the next time I am approached by another such caller, I may try not to get too agitated at the sales call but what if it is a product I am seriously not interested in?

Is there an appropriate response where I can reject without it 'rejecting' the other party?

The Great Divide

2007-10-05T15:50:00.000+08:00

'Toong che mmm toong pheng, toong yan mmm toong meang'..... meaning that we may come from the same background but end up leading entirely different lives.

While some of my friends (I'm talking about those in the same age bracket) are making a few hundred thousand ringgit a year, there are also a handful of us who choose the low key life and concentrate on nurturing the family at home on a full time basis. Some others, like me work part time to make some money and still be able to spend time with the children...not that my not-so-little Bkworm needs me to fuss over her like a baby anymore! Really, it boils down to the choices we make.

A good example is where I am working now. My lady boss is also in her mid-forties but she brings home more money than I can ever dream of. Of course, she also has a relentless passion for her work that is simply beyond me. She works hard for her money and she duly reaps her rewards. And with a wise investment portfolio, her money is making more money for her each day.

As I observe her chairing a meeting last week, I thought about the chasm that divides our financial health. She's like an eagle that is riding the wind and soaring effortlessly to greater heights.

Soaring Bald Eagles

Could it be that I, too am an eagle like her but because I choose to think I am a chicken, I limit my own abilities to achieve more?

Again, like I said earlier, it really comes down to the choices we make in life, isn't it?

Just pondering that's all.

Speared!

2007-10-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

I have been had.

Taken for a ride.

Betrayed.

Taken advantage of.

Cheated and lied to.

And I thought that at forty four, I had seen it all.

I am so pissed.....at myself for being too trusting.

Stupid of me.

No more Miss Nicey-Nicey!

Ocean In The Desert

2007-10-01T07:55:00.000+08:00

After a four year 'drought'.......

Yay!!! Payday!

A Walk In The Gardens

2007-09-30T23:37:00.000+08:00

I make a lousy food reviewer. I love the food but ask me to write about it......um... can't seem to find the words to 'sell' you the experience of eating at that particular restaurant.

Anyway, earlier today, we Bkworms went and spoilt ourselves silly and dined at D'lish again. We were at the newly opened Gardens and it was pure excuse to just walk over to D'lish at Midvalley Megamall for brunch. I was so impressed with their Roasted Chicken with Olive Rice the first time that I ordered it again this time. I simply can't get enough of the aroma of rosemary they roasted the chicken with. The olive rice was new to me and the vegetables reminded me of Jamie Oliver and his cooking shows. Silly or not?? Anyway, the reason for this entry is also to put up the pictures which I snapped away when the food was served. A blogger thing, I guess. Can't seem to shake off the picture taking habit.

And then it was off to The Gardens for a quick look around coz' I had promised to see Dad in the afternoon but Papa Bkworm was dying to check out Robinsons and Isetan, so we just had to give the place a sweeping glance, so to speak in order to satisfy our curiosity.

Robinsons is an EXPENSIVE place to shop. Golly, RM300-00 for a blouse?? Sorry, I am only earning peanuts and part timers don't need to a RM300-00 blouse to go to work in. But their party clothes are nice and they actually have sizes that fit me! Ooh-la-la! Robinsons also wasn't as big as I had anticipated. The upside of that very brief visit was bumping into an ex-colleague, who used to flirtingly call me his 'dear' every time we meet. Haven't seen him for more than ten years! Still as charming as ever. I remember how I used to be so crazy (secretly-lah) over his East Malaysian accent! He also knows Papa Bkworm (we were all working in the same organisation before) but he didn't know that we are now married, so it must have been quite a shock to him to see us walking hand in hand at the mall.

I shan't go into the specifics about the mall here. And don't ask me about Isetan coz' I have no memory of that place. That's what happens when you go shopping in a hurry! Anyway, lots have already been written about The Gardens. You can read about them at shoppingNsales. I am looking forward to revisiting the mall when I can walk around more leisurely and not having to worry about rushing off for another appointment elsewhere. And when Borders opens in December, I will definitely want to pay them a visit.

Next weekend - The Pavillion.

The mall rats are at it again.

Birthday Party for Baby Avin

2007-09-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

You know you are growing old when you see the younger ones get married off one by one and then they have babies! (I know, I know, that's the natural progression of things!)

Yesterday night we were invited to Baby Avin’s first birthday. His mother, Mon is an ex-colleague of mine and I can still remember how young she was when we first met many years ago.

To respect her privacy, I won't be putting up any pictures of the cute little birthday boy. But boy, is he cute! He’s got a full head of dark curly hair and those big brown eyes are sure to mesmerise some girl in the future. The theme of the party is clearly a child’s with a picture of Mickey Mouse adorning the cake and light blue and white balloons hung all about the canopy set up just outside their house. A clown entertained the kids throughout the evening, doing magic tricks and twisting balloons into various shapes and sizes to the delight of all the kids.

We were served a delectable dinner of beriyani rice with chicken and mutton, puttu mayam (string hopper) and lots of veggies to go with it. But more than having a delicious meal, it was wonderful seeing Mon and her family again. Both her parents are the dearest of people, humble and unassuming and though we meet up only once a year (for Deepavali!), Mon and her family remain as warm as ever. No airs and graces, whatsoever.

The night was still young when we said our thank yous and goodbyes. Phil (another buddy of mine) suggested going for coffee and we ended up at Starbucks, not leaving until almost midnight.

By the time we got home, I was ready to drop like a heap. I flipped the TV guide and aha! ….they were going to show a rerun of the famous Six Million Dollar Man series. One of my fave TV shows back in the 70s.

Woweee…… Lee Majors anytime. Sleep can wait.